witches

Post your poetry, any style.
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creativesoul
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witches

Post by creativesoul » June 15th, 2012, 4:25 pm

she sat in her house
that she weazeled her way
into living there-
:lol:
her head lay on a yellow sickly pilow
she has nicotine stains
on her fingers and lips
she picks the bugs form her hair
she smells like animals from everywhere-
carrying souls in the skin bodies like a cloaked
mystery of me me me
her greed had put her in a hole
where all the things she did
were merely a role
everything she had she had to steal
her little grubby fingers
her stupid hat
all make me want to get far away from that

he has had it with all her fun
Last edited by creativesoul on June 16th, 2012, 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

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mindbum
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Re: witches

Post by mindbum » June 15th, 2012, 9:22 pm

good good. tho i appreciate a funny hat.
godless & songless, western man dances with the stuffed gorilla through all the blind alleys of a dead-end world.

-maxwell bodenheim

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dadio
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Joined: December 10th, 2010, 1:20 pm

Re: witches

Post by dadio » June 16th, 2012, 1:58 am

Good poem. 8)

creativesoul
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Re: witches

Post by creativesoul » June 16th, 2012, 3:27 am

[quote="mindbum"]good good. tho i appreciate a funny hat.[/quote]
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

Christopher T. George
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Re: witches

Post by Christopher T. George » June 16th, 2012, 1:00 pm

Hello creativesoul

You could make this less telling if you left out the line about power and control. Let the reader make that determination.

Maybe begin it--

she sat in her house
into which she'd weazeled her way
her head lay on a yellow sickly pilow
she has nicotine stains
on her fingers and lips. . . (etc)

Good luck!

Chris
Editor, [url=http://www.thedesertmoonreview.com]Desert Moon Review[/url]
Co-Editor, [url=http://www.lochravenreview.net]Loch Raven Review[/url]
[url=http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/index.htm]http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/index.htm[/url]

creativesoul
Posts: 4650
Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
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Re: witches

Post by creativesoul » June 16th, 2012, 4:50 pm

SUGGESTION TAKEN aloha 8)
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

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