Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

she sat in her house
that she weazeled her way
into living there-

her head lay on a yellow sickly pilow
she has nicotine stains
on her fingers and lips
she picks the bugs form her hair
she smells like animals from everywhere-
carrying souls in the skin bodies like a cloaked
mystery of me me me
her greed had put her in a hole
where all the things she did
were merely a role
everything she had she had to steal
her little grubby fingers
her stupid hat
all make me want to get far away from that

he has had it with all her fun

good good. tho i appreciate a funny hat.

Good poem.

[quote="mindbum"]good good. tho i appreciate a funny hat.[/quote]

Hello creativesoul

You could make this less telling if you left out the line about power and control. Let the reader make that determination.

Maybe begin it--

she sat in her house
into which she'd weazeled her way
her head lay on a yellow sickly pilow
she has nicotine stains
on her fingers and lips. . . (etc)

Good luck!

Chris

SUGGESTION TAKEN aloha