Past Due (A Spenserian Verse)

[ADannon]

I passed the age away where dreams were chained,
With ankles bound I watched love disappear.
Full grief fell hard when passion was restrained,
Hearts cannot be maintained with tape and tears.

I sit, and sift like ash, these souvenirs,
Before a fire that once with brilliance burned.
The debt I’ve still to pay in deep arrears,
A willing price for loneliness unlearned.

Sometimes the ways of fate can’t be discerned,
Connections fray, as frail as silken string.
When we are left with all the grief we’ve earned
To watch the face of love diminishing.

I reach my hand out, seek restoratives,
And wonder once again if time forgives.

[Doreen Peri]

Perfectly executed! Flawless!

(though the last line is a little bit of a stumble with the accent on the IF, not being exactly natural to tongue, but really very close!)

Lovely imagery, beautiful sentiment, perfect iambic pentameter!

How wonderful to find another person on the net who enjoys writing structured verse! And you have clearly worked diligently on your craft!

Let's write some more, OK?

I write sonnets, myself, though usually in the English/Shakespearan style (a-b-a-b/c-d-c-d/e-f-e-f/g-g). I should try a Spenserian rhyme scheme.

I enjoyed this very much, A!

Thank you for posting it here.

Maybe we should create a sonnet thread.... just an idea.

[ADannon]

Thank you doreen for your post. This was my first in this format, written today at the challenge of a friend~ *s* I love sonnets very much, glad we have that in common.
I have a problem with the last line myself and will keep looking at it~ Thanks again.....looking forward to sharing here~

[Doreen Peri]

How about

"To wonder once again if time forgives."

(just an idea.)




I think I'll take this as a challenge myself. Looking forward to more from you!

[mousey1]

I'm no sonneteur, but I know what I like, this is beautiful.

[jimboloco]

Now I've got my new book, Poetry for Dummies so there's no excuse for me not to both appreciate and learn about Sonnetsville.....
I am
bic
pentaaaah
meter.

The souveniers of lost passion
restrained joy and tears
left with ashes, only shadows
and wonder, yes wondering yet,

But poetic verse like yours invites contemplation
invokes a pensive mood.

[bennie]

I'm not much of a fan of sonnets and other formal styles of poetry.
I don't even know who Spencer is/was.
But I liked a lot of the lines in this.

I especially liked:

"Hearts cannot be maintained with tape and tears."

"I sit, and sift like ash, these souvenirs...
The debt I’ve still to pay in deep arrears,"

[ADannon]

doreen~
Thanks for the suggestion~ *s* Looking forward to yours~

mousey~
Thanks for reading......glad you liked it~ *s*

jimboloco~
That's what I need too I think. I am not "schooled" in poetry forms but when I come across them like to give it a shot~ Contemplation and a pensive mood..........a familiar and frequented place without a doubt.....thank you for your comments~

bennie~
Was just introduced to them myself a few days ago.......like a sonnet only the rhyme scheme is

abab
bcbc
cdcd
ee

Anyway........thank you for reading and for taking the time to let me know you did~