Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

i love nicoderm
i cannot smoke
i can barely breathe
faking my fucking way thru life
pretending i wouldnt punch someone out for an american spirit black?
think again..
so i strand myself way the fuck in the middle of nowhere
with no cigs
a lil herbal medicine
for the cancer
it works
and food
if you could hear me breathe
you would understand
but the AA world and the NA world
would deep fry me
cut me off
and i would be unhappy forever
so it is a dirty lil secret
if i drink kids
the table dancing and crazy shit begins again
just 25 years later
and 14 years sober
so GO AHEAD= JUDGE ME
i need to be honest
it is killing me
as fat as everything else that is wrong with me
a super power thyroid that just gives me the juice
sometimes damn
makes energy drinks look boring i hear
a guy in a wheelchair
my friend takes care of said' oh she could use some valium'
he reportedly is very spiritual
with only half a brain
due to stroke
dude
i am with you
i do
but they will not give it to me
the shrinks the doctors
etc
i dont want any other drug either\
i swear it is amazing
you go to the shrink and say ' i couldnt sleep for three days'
a month later
because there are so many people

that have lost their minds
mental health is in trouble
like it always has been
anti- depressants are way more mind altering then anything else
do not fucking take them
seriously
even if you have a shitty husband
or a menopausal year
if you want in or out
go to herbal medicne and walk away from the rest--
if i die i will not smell bad

i won't pretend to know the whole story, but the raw honesty here is poignant...it hits you in the gut and makes you examine your own life...the choices, the consequences, what is deliberate, what is random.....i feel like a leaf in the wind sometimes....blowing from here to there as I try to stay grounded....yet at peace with it all....grateful for all the good, dealing with the other.....continue to write it all down sister

I'm in agreement with Steve.

C_Soul, we all have it bassackwards... when we realize we're old or when retired, we seem to think we need to do it all including indulging in all the shit we shouldn't and we end up fucking sicker than a doctor wants to deal with. We should become straight as a newborn with these later years, looking at the world spin by with innocence guiding us. Excess and stupidity are no longer excusable at our age.

if i die when i get born
we are tossed into this world
and it's a will to power
and nothing else besides
I think it was Jim Morrison
or Nietzsche who said that
or Zippy the pin head

i am so kind of shocked-============================ you all are awesome- yesterday i went to get my nails done and.... and my face waxed- [too blind to pluck] and the lil ladies -from vet nam said 'we love you'
and i believe them- it made me feel so loved- they sing these little songs-
like a baby i become in their care- and they sooth my soul- more so- then i have experienced=---
my honesty will save me=
that gig is about just revealing who you are to a trustworthy soul- it has never been better than this-- backwards - forwards to right hear- send you love---

so GO AHEAD= JUDGE ME

not in the mood, really...! ... I gave up antihistamínicos again yesterday and returned to herbal, nobody to blame ... Gracias for your poem!

thank you all so much

nice imagining that beautiful smile on your face.

wow- i had to gift you this-

the sun rose in her heart
the last few moments contained a chance to be a different world-
somehow she was dialed in
but the bills kept coming
she couldnt paint fast enough
or sell prints
geez the cost of living... but the heart knew what was lost with out it

the dog hair and the dust
farmer on a tractor-
hope
whispered
that love would come
later

Great speaking poem. COPD is nothing to sneeze about. It's a serious thing.
Another friend of mine has it.

Creative Soul, Hopefully, your regimen will keep it in check.
It's amazing how people suffer right under our noses while they keep it well hidden.
God Bless...You wrote the net & the net, in guise of your on-line friends is speaking back.

i love waking up and finding messages from you all- it is like chocloates on the pillow in a fancy hotel- thank you-----hugs