Watch out for the potato salad!
Posted: October 30th, 2014, 3:37 pm
I have an odd sense of humor.
I joke about people getting poisoned.
I'm the only one who laughs, but
I'm telling you, it's quite possible
there's arsenic in the potato salad
so my joking about it might not be valid,
but instead an honest warning.
In that light, it may not be funny now,
but it would be wise not to write me off
as a lousy comedian. I know you're a fan
of potato salad and believe me, you don't
only have to be concerned about the flies
which land on the mayo after they've been
swarming around and licking up cow shit
which is entirely gross to even think about,
so why are you even having this picnic outside,
anyway? There's more to worry about than fly
saliva. What if you took a bite of that potato salad
and your face turned pallid right before you
regurgitated but it was too late because the
arsenic was heavily laced in the dish?
There's no way you could get rid of it all by
throwing up and trust me on this, you'd wish
you hadn't even bitten and you're going to
remember what I've written here and feel sorry
you didn't take me seriously. There's no mystery
to all of this. When you choke on that potato salad
and croak, it's going to be too late to look for the bloke
who's laughing about it. No joke!
I joke about people getting poisoned.
I'm the only one who laughs, but
I'm telling you, it's quite possible
there's arsenic in the potato salad
so my joking about it might not be valid,
but instead an honest warning.
In that light, it may not be funny now,
but it would be wise not to write me off
as a lousy comedian. I know you're a fan
of potato salad and believe me, you don't
only have to be concerned about the flies
which land on the mayo after they've been
swarming around and licking up cow shit
which is entirely gross to even think about,
so why are you even having this picnic outside,
anyway? There's more to worry about than fly
saliva. What if you took a bite of that potato salad
and your face turned pallid right before you
regurgitated but it was too late because the
arsenic was heavily laced in the dish?
There's no way you could get rid of it all by
throwing up and trust me on this, you'd wish
you hadn't even bitten and you're going to
remember what I've written here and feel sorry
you didn't take me seriously. There's no mystery
to all of this. When you choke on that potato salad
and croak, it's going to be too late to look for the bloke
who's laughing about it. No joke!