a woman walks

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the mingo
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a woman walks

Post by the mingo » January 14th, 2015, 8:42 pm

a woman walks
thru the poems
by the poems
across the poems
walks all over the poems
in a black dress
with scarf and boots
she climbs the stairs of the poems
down the hallways of the poems
walks to the shore of the poems
puts her hand on the rocks
puts her hand on the sea
looks out on the vast waters
looks back
a red tie in her hair
she reads the sea
she reads the poems
she moves over the stones
mentioning the moon she
leaves the house
the door closing
as if by itself
behind her
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

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judih
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Re: a woman walks

Post by judih » January 14th, 2015, 11:18 pm

gorgeous poem walk
thanks, the mingo

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whoaisme
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Re: a woman walks

Post by whoaisme » January 15th, 2015, 7:47 pm

"the door closing
as if by itself
behind her"

aw yea!
:D
"From the sudden invasion of a mind not my own in the world. This I will record. For whom? For m y s e l f, beyond denial and beyond indifference." - Philip Lamantia

68degrees
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Re: a woman walks

Post by 68degrees » January 15th, 2015, 9:54 pm

This is an awesome poem. Bravo. The lilting repetition of she / sea / reads pushing the poem right along...I can "feel" this woman walking. I am with you and we are watching her.

68degrees

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the mingo
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Re: a woman walks

Post by the mingo » January 15th, 2015, 10:21 pm

wow - my thx to everyone who read & said - 8)
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

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Doreen Peri
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Re: a woman walks

Post by Doreen Peri » January 15th, 2015, 11:29 pm

mingo ... this is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read... i walked right through it 3x now

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the mingo
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Location: Tug Hill Plateau

Re: a woman walks

Post by the mingo » January 16th, 2015, 12:46 am

wow doreen - thank you - 8)
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

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WIREMAN
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Re: a woman walks

Post by WIREMAN » January 16th, 2015, 9:38 pm

i see the walk....i smell her scent....i bathe in her light....we converse at the bar....bout jack and henry sipping on our stools...she leaves for a smoke and says, "Bye, im leaving this time"...i watch her with a grin.....yes it is a worthy one mingo 8)
me I feel like I'm becoming some kinda Kung fu t.v. Priest.....

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the mingo
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Re: a woman walks

Post by the mingo » January 16th, 2015, 10:35 pm

Thx Wireman - 8)
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

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Terri
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Re: a woman walks

Post by Terri » January 17th, 2015, 1:27 am

If there was a way to save favorites here, I'd save this. As far as critique goes, I'll go with what 68degrees said. The repetition of sounds works so well.

mentioning the moon she
leaves the house

!!

68degrees
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Re: a woman walks

Post by 68degrees » January 17th, 2015, 12:45 pm

I have been reading this all week. Must be a guy thing ;)

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the mingo
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Re: a woman walks

Post by the mingo » January 17th, 2015, 2:28 pm

i think i might know what you mean 8)
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

theirishsea
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Joined: March 29th, 2009, 8:09 am

Re: a woman walks

Post by theirishsea » January 17th, 2015, 3:15 pm

I like this.

Only suggestion would be to eliminate one of the "poems"

with scarf and boots
she climbs the stairs of the poems
down the hallways of the poems
walks to the shore of the poems

But I like this poem a lot.
The Irish Sea Is Always In Turmoil, Even When Calm.

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