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a woman walks

Posted: January 14th, 2015, 8:42 pm
by the mingo
a woman walks
thru the poems
by the poems
across the poems
walks all over the poems
in a black dress
with scarf and boots
she climbs the stairs of the poems
down the hallways of the poems
walks to the shore of the poems
puts her hand on the rocks
puts her hand on the sea
looks out on the vast waters
looks back
a red tie in her hair
she reads the sea
she reads the poems
she moves over the stones
mentioning the moon she
leaves the house
the door closing
as if by itself
behind her

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 14th, 2015, 11:18 pm
by judih
gorgeous poem walk
thanks, the mingo

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 15th, 2015, 7:47 pm
by whoaisme
"the door closing
as if by itself
behind her"

aw yea!
:D

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 15th, 2015, 9:54 pm
by 68degrees
This is an awesome poem. Bravo. The lilting repetition of she / sea / reads pushing the poem right along...I can "feel" this woman walking. I am with you and we are watching her.

68degrees

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 15th, 2015, 10:21 pm
by the mingo
wow - my thx to everyone who read & said - 8)

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 15th, 2015, 11:29 pm
by Doreen Peri
mingo ... this is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read... i walked right through it 3x now

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 16th, 2015, 12:46 am
by the mingo
wow doreen - thank you - 8)

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 16th, 2015, 9:38 pm
by WIREMAN
i see the walk....i smell her scent....i bathe in her light....we converse at the bar....bout jack and henry sipping on our stools...she leaves for a smoke and says, "Bye, im leaving this time"...i watch her with a grin.....yes it is a worthy one mingo 8)

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 16th, 2015, 10:35 pm
by the mingo
Thx Wireman - 8)

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 17th, 2015, 1:27 am
by Terri
If there was a way to save favorites here, I'd save this. As far as critique goes, I'll go with what 68degrees said. The repetition of sounds works so well.

mentioning the moon she
leaves the house

!!

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 17th, 2015, 12:45 pm
by 68degrees
I have been reading this all week. Must be a guy thing ;)

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 17th, 2015, 2:28 pm
by the mingo
i think i might know what you mean 8)

Re: a woman walks

Posted: January 17th, 2015, 3:15 pm
by theirishsea
I like this.

Only suggestion would be to eliminate one of the "poems"

with scarf and boots
she climbs the stairs of the poems
down the hallways of the poems
walks to the shore of the poems

But I like this poem a lot.