middle of June sunning

Post your poetry, any style.
Post Reply
User avatar
shadowplay
Posts: 108
Joined: January 24th, 2014, 7:08 pm
Location: a dream state

middle of June sunning

Post by shadowplay » March 19th, 2015, 3:07 pm

tell you about when I loved
fields of peas popping the pods
in the hollow of a hill
sweet peas lying in my open hand
your fingers, my lips
tiny peas the size of hail
tasting sweeter than candy







sorry to post and run, got stuff to do for a while...any comments/suggestions/ideas/shits are welcome -- I'm easy
shadowplay

User avatar
shadowplay
Posts: 108
Joined: January 24th, 2014, 7:08 pm
Location: a dream state

Re: middle of June sunning

Post by shadowplay » March 19th, 2015, 3:45 pm

why thank you
your idea, and a good one
shadowplay

david
Posts: 139
Joined: November 12th, 2012, 3:51 pm

Re: middle of June sunning

Post by david » March 19th, 2015, 3:51 pm

Really like this SP, your best one yet (for me).

I like the human interjection into the piece, just the right amount I thought.

I thought a play around with line breaks may enhance slightly.

User avatar
shadowplay
Posts: 108
Joined: January 24th, 2014, 7:08 pm
Location: a dream state

Re: middle of June sunning

Post by shadowplay » March 19th, 2015, 3:56 pm

I'm cool with that, thanks -- working on something really important and boring right now.....will be back.....
shadowplay

saw
Posts: 8305
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

Re: middle of June sunning

Post by saw » March 19th, 2015, 8:07 pm

sugar snap !....well done
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

User avatar
shadowplay
Posts: 108
Joined: January 24th, 2014, 7:08 pm
Location: a dream state

Re: middle of June sunning

Post by shadowplay » March 19th, 2015, 8:47 pm

Thank you saw! :) :) :)
shadowplay

Post Reply

Return to “Poetry”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 30 guests