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middle of June sunning

Posted: March 19th, 2015, 3:07 pm
by shadowplay
tell you about when I loved
fields of peas popping the pods
in the hollow of a hill
sweet peas lying in my open hand
your fingers, my lips
tiny peas the size of hail
tasting sweeter than candy







sorry to post and run, got stuff to do for a while...any comments/suggestions/ideas/shits are welcome -- I'm easy

Re: middle of June sunning

Posted: March 19th, 2015, 3:45 pm
by shadowplay
why thank you
your idea, and a good one

Re: middle of June sunning

Posted: March 19th, 2015, 3:51 pm
by david
Really like this SP, your best one yet (for me).

I like the human interjection into the piece, just the right amount I thought.

I thought a play around with line breaks may enhance slightly.

Re: middle of June sunning

Posted: March 19th, 2015, 3:56 pm
by shadowplay
I'm cool with that, thanks -- working on something really important and boring right now.....will be back.....

Re: middle of June sunning

Posted: March 19th, 2015, 8:07 pm
by saw
sugar snap !....well done

Re: middle of June sunning

Posted: March 19th, 2015, 8:47 pm
by shadowplay
Thank you saw! :) :) :)