Page 1 of 1

Following the Outcome of Dawn

Posted: May 3rd, 2015, 12:51 am
by Doreen Peri
I find myself wrapped in the circumference
of a lullaby rainfall, taller than a sequoia –
I call out a black crow song caw to elements.

Love is a time king.
Nature rhymes me.

I am the sea, unruly, the metaphysical earth question,
the resurrection of an interjection of mud and silt.
My leaves and arrives wilt off of hope stems.
I bend by a truth breeze, ease myself into
replanting, re-emerge barefoot, stark, standing
solid on the current of earthquake grace.

I chase the perplexities of reason,
newborn calves, my release of wonder, thunder,
the tease of a matinee moonsky.

Why do I bother studying butterflies?
It is in the expanse of wings where
futility ceases to sing when
Autumn brings their demise.

I take the size of winter, splinter it into my palm,
dig it out from snow piled atop my ardor.
I welcome the sting of spring's bees,
poisoned by the reckoning of a season's
resilience.

Summer must come.

The cycles interrogate me.
I plead with garden remedies.
I plead with garden remedies.

It is in the course of following
the outcome of a dawn
where I succeed in
putting daylight on
like a gown.

I will only be renowned
once I am owned by the capture
of a moment on a page, wings wide –
pierced with a pin.

the monarch wins his place
on a surface.


dp.7.23.2004
Note: Found this on another site where i wrote it as a reply to a thread. Never saved it 'til now. Needs a new title, I think.

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 4th, 2015, 9:36 am
by saw
really nice...graceful, flowing language with infusions of wordplay that give it oomph as it marches through time....I think " Seasons" would be an apt title, less jarring than "Cycles"

but I'm sure there are more possibilities...love the opening stanza, as well as the next two lines...together they set the tone for what is to come

which is excellent... 8)

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 4th, 2015, 10:37 am
by Doreen Peri
Thanks, Steve! I found it on Arcanum Cafe as a reply in a discussion about how poetry and all the arts need passion and feeling in order to work. I posted the topic, some people replied that no, it only needs "thinking" .. hah!

I have no idea why I broke into poetry and wrote this as a reply but I did and I don't remember writing it so I'm glad I found it.

Thanks for the title suggestion. Somehow both Cycles and Seasons feel too cliche to me.

Sometimes I take a line from the poem for the title and I'm considering, "In the Course of Following the Outcome of a Dawn" as a title. I don't know yet, though.

Again, thanks very much!

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 5th, 2015, 9:39 am
by judih
I also love this.
I like that line as a title
perhaps - from Following....

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 6th, 2015, 10:14 am
by Doreen Peri
Thanks, Judih!

You a title like "Following the Outcome of a Dawn"?

Maybe that's best! I think I like it.

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 6th, 2015, 10:55 am
by judih
yes, it's descriptive and intriguing

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 7th, 2015, 3:20 am
by whoaisme
this is just great, keep on Doreen!

as for a title, i'd like to nominate "I take the size of winter."

i was a bit confused with the wording/syntax of this:

"My leaves and comes wilt off of hope stems."

just kinda clumsy to me.

anyhow, thank you for sharing this poem, you done got 'em good :mrgreen:

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 7th, 2015, 6:59 am
by the mingo
8)

Re: Cycles

Posted: May 7th, 2015, 6:52 pm
by Doreen Peri
whoaisme ... thx.... "My leaves and comes wilt off of hope stems" was supposed to be a play on words. Maybe I'll change it to "My leaves and arrives wilt off hope stems"... I think I'll do that. Appreciated!

Mingo ... :D gracias mi amingo for reading.

Judih ... changing the title as you suggested. Thx! :)

Now I just need to find the original file on my computer to change those things in the file. Sigh... This writing and saving stuff thing can be tedious.

:D

Re: Following the Outcome of Dawn

Posted: June 18th, 2015, 1:14 am
by Tjflowers80
So vivid.. And very beautiful.

Re: Following the Outcome of Dawn

Posted: August 2nd, 2015, 2:36 pm
by Doreen Peri
Thank you, TJflowers! :)