Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

naked woman sitting
in a kitchen chair
two days beyond solstice
this is what the rest of summer
will be like along with questions
some with answers
the woman will paint her face
on the nights the moon is up
and pop around the corner asking
"Don't I look like
a 1930's movie star?"

remains to be seen
progress to unfold
no decision yet

the mingo wrote:naked woman sitting
in a kitchen chair
two days beyond solstice
this is what the rest of summer
will be like along with questions
some with answers
the woman will paint her face
on the nights the moon is up
and pop around the corner asking
"Don't I look like
a 1930's movie star?"

Best poem I've read in a long time. I'd like to write like this but then it wouldn't be you and that wouldn't be right. Thanks, el mingo, for this piece of inspiration... I needed it.

Thanks for that Cecil -

no, no, my friend. thanks goes all to you.

........

But dang it, would still appreciate punctuation!

Sorry 'bus, some of these things happen to me, others I have to build. This one was a build not a readymade. Came from disparate (maybe even desperate) parts. Sort of a glue & notch job. My punctuation bag I had left in my rucksack back at base camp and there was nothing but Indian country between me & it. The conditions I work under here on the slopes of Tug Hill Plateau can best be described either as impossible or improbable & that's at the best of times. So, I need some help here - if you were going puncture-rate this what would you use & where would you place them ?

Thx

..................

i agree with 'bus

however, i gotta disagree with your word change. i like "with" better than "having"

the punctuation makes a great poem even better.

/.02

Thx

form stifles stride
all the breaks
are like roadblocks
as are the periods
i dig your style of writing
keep em flowing mingo

WIREMAN wrote:form stifles stride
all the breaks
are like roadblocks
as are the periods
i dig your style of writing
keep em flowing mingo

For sure... pause when you want, breathe when you want and feel the vibe as it was written... when poems become too structured they lose their individuality, their voice.