Well, for someone who's new to poetry, you do very well! Clearly you have some innate talent!
I'm no expert, but I do love to write them. I usually write the English/Shakespearean rhyme scheme. The sonnet form you chose seems close to the Italian/Petrarchian style. I am only basing this on a lesson my friend
Nan Ness gave on another website some years back. We had a workshop in sonnets. She's a poetry teacher in Massachussetts. I copied the text she wrote from the lesson in my files and refer to it sometimes. I'll paste it here so you can read it. She's much more of an expert than me.
Why don't I think it's a sonnet? Mostly because it's not iambic pentemeter. The beats are off. Also, if you're going to write a sonnet, why change the layout of the lines? What's wrong with the formula for the layout? I call any type of formal, structured poetry "puzzle poetry." To me, that's the trick, to be able to solve the puzzle and have it flow and not sound forced.
As mindbum pointed out, some of your rhymes aren't perfect rhymes, but what the heck? We're all just trying to have fun, right? Fun with words! That's the name of the poetry game!
But since you asked why I said that, here's Nan's sonnet lesson -
The Little Song is the derivation of the word sonnet. I find sonnets it to be the most fun format to work with, and by far my favorite. Sonnets originated in Italy, progressing further with the unsurpassed influence of the English, more specifically that of Shakespeare.
Although the mode of the twentieth century has been to deviate from standard formats, my philosophy remains pretty old-fashioned, I guess. I adamantly believe that you can't rightly break the rules unless you know what they are... Furthermore, breaking the rules effectively necessitates a thorough understanding of them. Ergo - I'm teaching you the the rules. I also follow them myself, by the way. I don't consider myself proficient enough to break them yet. (perhaps some day soon).
All righty - Let's start with meter - the easy part.... A sonnet, properly written, is done in iambic pentameter. That means that every line will consist of five iambic feet. Each line of your poem will follow this rhythm....
da-DUM/da-DUM/da-DUM/da-DUM/da-DUM
Your theme is of ULTIMATE importance in a sonnet. You must present a conflict of sorts in your opening stanzas and a resolution in your closing ones. Think carefully of what you want to write about and how you want to develop your work before you begin writing.
The use of imagery is another important consideration. A sonnet is a very compact piece, and as such is a great format for extended metaphors. Try to incorporate some simile, metaphor, or other types of imagery into your work. Check back to my pantoum thread for more specifics on that.
Now then - Let's get on to the format. Guess what - You've got a choice here. You can opt for any one of the following....
The original Italian/Petrarchan style sonnet. This format consists of an octet followed by a sestet. The conflict is presented in the octet and resolved in the sestet. This format allows you less conflict, but more "resolution" time, if you should need it.... The format is:
a-b-b-a-a-b-b-a/c-d-e-c-d-e
The most popular English/Shakespearean sonnet. In this format the conflict is presented within three quatrains of verse, and resolved in a final couplet. The Shakespearean format is...
a-b-a-b/c-d-c-d/e-f-e-f/g-g
The final, and less known format is Spenserian. Actually, I've written several sonnets, but I haven't yet done one in the Spenserian mode. That'll be my plan on this one. (Hey - this workshop is making me write!!.. This format is more similar to Shakespearean, as it incorporates three quatrains and a closing couplet. In either format, you'll need to develop your conflict in the quatrains and resolve it in the couplet. The Spenserian (you'll see some pantoum similarities too) format is...
a-b-a-b/b-c-b-c/c-d-c-d/e-e
Whew! Well, that's the text from Nan's sonnet lesson.
After reading this, do you think this piece of yours is a sonnet?
Better question is, does it really matter?
It's a good piece. *shrug* - No, the lines are not all iambic pentameter. Some are. But not all. No, the rhyme scheme uses imperfect rhymes in some places. This, to me, is why it isn't truly a sonnet. But so what?
I wasn't trying to be critical, really.... I was only letting you know that I didn't think this piece is really a sonnet.
But hell, people have all kinds of definitions for poetry formats. The way we were taught haiku has been totally altered by those who are calling a myriad of formats haiku, simply because they are short, visual snapshots.
Anyway, thanks for posting this here. I enjoyed reading it, as painful as the love pangs were......
You sure packed some imagery into this! 
Thanks again for the critique and the kind introduction.
) In my opinion, these are the toughest sonnets to write! Then, there is the common 
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