Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

Better to walk down the hall
following the exit signs
keeping perfectly quiet except
for the sound of shoes
sometimes they clack more than a train
sometimes the halls are dark
but it's better to not look back
to not sit in that easy chair
fall asleep with the same old faces on TV
happy talking the same lousy weather
storm-fronts coming through
you need to go down to the corner
buy six roses
red like her lips' and the passionate words
you want to say before
she falls asleep
alone

sounds right to me danno....it's important to get your priorities in the proper order....

"...six roses
red like her lips' and the passionate words
you want to say before
she falls asleep
alone"

That's a strong, strong closing. That made the poem
happen (for me).

I also like how you began things, in that way that says
(without directly stating): "This is a poem. It is not merely
prose arranged to look like a poem. It is not a poem just
because I say it is a poem. This says something in a way
that is expressly poetic. It is more than just an expression
of my thoughts."

Nicely done.

roses are so often penetrating-thorns and all that sensual beauty
i say wake her up with your love
the roses will linger remind and scent= but the most important being;where you went
together
roses are often held responsable for the thrusting pain of heart ache and passion-
i think it is all about how we ration al lize what love is

this poem poetically illustrates....paints vivid pictures of dark hallways which are a step up from the rote mechanics of the Lay-Z-Boy chair and the slipping away into an uninspiring state of sleep that does not make the same kind of promise that an expression of love does....

the decision seems clear, yet the poem somehow makes the reader feel the angst of how hard it might be to actually find that strength.....which is why you best not look back....turn your face away from the lure of the comfy chair and the tube, and do the thing you know is right....