Gone Now (with mp3)

Post your poetry, any style.
Post Reply
User avatar
judih
Site Admin
Posts: 13399
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
Contact:

Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by judih » August 9th, 2021, 1:52 pm

Gone Now

you’ve gone now
the chance is over
the meetings on the way
the looks of intention
the perhaps of a touch
the incidence of excitement
the fantasy of one day

you’ve gone now
your thick smile
your strong shoulders
your brush and your scent
your meaningful engagement
your thighs
your orchid-bearing hands

you’ve gone now
your flash red pick-up
your open invitations
your powerful suggestions
your obvious patience
your cell-phone hesitation
your size, your eyes

you’ve gone now
gone now 2 (online-audio-converter.com).mp3
(1.23 MiB) Not downloaded yet

User avatar
sasha
Posts: 2061
Joined: April 12th, 2016, 12:01 pm
Location: New Hampshire
Contact:

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by sasha » August 9th, 2021, 5:41 pm

I hope this is one of your older long-form verses, and not something you've just written - it's so full of sadness and loss - not so much a cry from the heart as pained whisper. It reminds me of a poem quoted on the back of one of my old LPs, an electronic composition by Morton Subotnik called "The Wild Bull". The poem he quotes was of a similar theme - but written nearly 4000 years ago in Mesopotamia. The music even sounds like some recreations I've heard of ancient music from the region.

A very moving piece, judih....
.
"Falsehood flies, the Truth comes limping after it." - Jonathan Swift, ca. 1710

User avatar
judih
Site Admin
Posts: 13399
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
Contact:

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by judih » August 9th, 2021, 9:52 pm

dear Roy
yes, this was a piece from 2004, something that fills me with the feelings i felt so long ago (is it that long?). Thanks for the comparison. Maybe we'll rediscuss in 4000 years to see how it holds up. The music is something I found online, a free download amongst many, but seemed to call out.
thanks for listening.

User avatar
sasha
Posts: 2061
Joined: April 12th, 2016, 12:01 pm
Location: New Hampshire
Contact:

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by sasha » August 10th, 2021, 7:24 am

 
this is the poem from the liner notes:

The Wild Bull (Sumeria, ca 1700 BC)
from Most Ancient Verse, translated by Thorkild Jacobsen & John Wilson

The wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more,
the wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more,
Dumuzi, the wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more,
the wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more.

O you, wild bull, how fast you sleep!
How fast sleep ewe and lamb!
O you, wild bull, how fast you sleep!
How fast sleep goat and kid!

I will ask the hills and the valleys,
I will ask the hills of the Bison:
"Where is the young man, my husand?"
I will say, "He whom I no longer serve food"
I will say, "He whom I no longer give to drink"
I will say, "And my lovely maids"
I will say, "And my lovely young men?"

"The Bison has taken thy husband away, up into the mountains!"
"The Bison has taken thy husband away, up into the mountains!"

"Bison of the mountains, with the mottled eyes!
Bison of the mountains, with the crushing teeth!
Bison! - He sleeps sweetly, he sleeps sweetly,
He whom I no longer serve food sleeps sweetly,
He whom I no longer give to drink sleeps sweetly,
My lovely maids sleep sweetly,
My lovely young men sleep sweetly!"

"My young man who perished from me (at the hands) of your men,
My young Ababa who perished from me (at the hands) of your men,
Will never more calm me (with) his loving glance,
Will never more unfasten his lovely bright clasp (at night),
On his couch you made the jackals lie down,
In my husband's fold you made the raven dwell,
His reed pipe - the wind plays it,
My husband's songs - the north wind sings them."

 
.
"Falsehood flies, the Truth comes limping after it." - Jonathan Swift, ca. 1710

User avatar
judih
Site Admin
Posts: 13399
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
Contact:

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by judih » August 10th, 2021, 9:13 am

sasha wrote:
August 10th, 2021, 7:24 am
 
this is the poem from the liner notes:

The Wild Bull (Sumeria, ca 1700 BC)
from Most Ancient Verse, translated by Thorkild Jacobsen & John Wilson

The wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more,
the wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more,
Dumuzi, the wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more,
the wild bull, who has lain down, lives no more.

O you, wild bull, how fast you sleep!
How fast sleep ewe and lamb!
O you, wild bull, how fast you sleep!
How fast sleep goat and kid!

I will ask the hills and the valleys,
I will ask the hills of the Bison:
"Where is the young man, my husand?"
I will say, "He whom I no longer serve food"
I will say, "He whom I no longer give to drink"
I will say, "And my lovely maids"
I will say, "And my lovely young men?"

"The Bison has taken thy husband away, up into the mountains!"
"The Bison has taken thy husband away, up into the mountains!"

"Bison of the mountains, with the mottled eyes!
Bison of the mountains, with the crushing teeth!
Bison! - He sleeps sweetly, he sleeps sweetly,
He whom I no longer serve food sleeps sweetly,
He whom I no longer give to drink sleeps sweetly,
My lovely maids sleep sweetly,
My lovely young men sleep sweetly!"

"My young man who perished from me (at the hands) of your men,
My young Ababa who perished from me (at the hands) of your men,
Will never more calm me (with) his loving glance,
Will never more unfasten his lovely bright clasp (at night),
On his couch you made the jackals lie down,
In my husband's fold you made the raven dwell,
His reed pipe - the wind plays it,
My husband's songs - the north wind sings them."

 
wow, breathtaking. I feel the similar longing, that eternal search for the voice that will call back. Beautiful

saw
Posts: 8276
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by saw » August 11th, 2021, 2:57 pm

both poems express the sadness of loss and the longing for once was....thanx for sharing....we need to express feelings like that , so others never think they are alone, we bond in our humanity and find comfort in our oneness
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

creativesoul
Posts: 4650
Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
Contact:

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by creativesoul » August 24th, 2021, 1:51 pm

I felt the mistress thing
I remember that
I guess I don’t really see it as sad.. passion tamed
The wild side is ageless
Sometimes stuff has to be gone
It’s very beautiful
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

User avatar
judih
Site Admin
Posts: 13399
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
Contact:

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by judih » August 24th, 2021, 9:56 pm

i feel your words. To do or not to do, that was the question, and then....no more time to decide. Just poof! and on with life!

thanks, jana

creativesoul
Posts: 4650
Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
Contact:

Re: Gone Now (with mp3)

Post by creativesoul » August 24th, 2021, 11:00 pm

I love the way you let it go
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

Post Reply

Return to “Poetry”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests