Haibun - Surgery +a month

[sasha]

Four weeks plus a few days... I rarely use the cane inside now, and bring it with me outside primarily to remind me not to limp. I've pretty much gotten the kitchen back to where I like it, I've negotiated the dreaded cellar stairs to successfully wash a load or two of laundry - and I've begun driving. Mind you, I have not received the medical community's blessing to do so - but neither have I been explicitly forbidden. I figure what they don't know can't hurt me.

More than anything, I think, I was dreading the loss of freedom that a driving ban would impose - to say nothing of the pleasure of navigating the twists & turns of a rural byway plying through dense forest, or alongside open pastures; of riding the swells and dips of the hills like a mariner on vigorous seas; of rounding a bend to the spectacle of a late-afternoon sun low in the sky backlighting a row of pines bordering a marshy river...

Freedom...

country road
macadam slalom
shifting gears

I've been taking short walks (a half mile or less) along the road live on and a nearby unpaved byway grandly named The Templeton Turnpike. These routes provide a comforting familiarity, but the bends have fewer surprises to offer, and walking there runs the risk of becoming routine, something just undertaken out of habit. And walking is so much more than mere exercise - or should be. It should nourish the soul as well as the body, energize the battery, stoke the inner fire...

country road
dusty gravel path
my old friend

So I went offroading today, along the now-discontinued Elm St in Baldwinville MA, leading into Otter River State Forest. The plan was to head north for about 3/10 mile before doubling back - about what my morning walks have amounted to. (Baby steps, baby steps...) But right at the scheduled turnaround point, a rough foottrail curved alluringly into the woods to my left. And as she always does, that bitch Trail Seduction batted her sultry bedroom eyes & flaunted her full, lush body... and I cast The Plan aside...

country road
feeder trail beckons
I submit

A late October day... trees not quite stripped by the North Atlantic gale that brushed southern New England, still enough foliage in the canopy to imbue the late afternoon sunlight with a rich, golden glow... from off in the woods, the squeak of a woodpecker... from elsewhere the distant sound of someone hammering... the path gently descending after a sharp southward bend... a tantalizing view of Otter River through the trees to my right... an open marsh on my left skirted by a footpath even rougher than the one I now travel... and I stand surrounded by all this, immersed in it, and feel as if I've reconnected with a long-lost friend or lover. "I'm back," I whisper aloud. "Maybe not 100% - but I'm back."

country road
a moment in time
eternal

No, definitely not 100%. Not 75%. Probably not even 50%. Yet. But goddamnitall, I'm Back.

I'm a little sore when I finally return to the car, and have stiffened up considerably by the time I reach home. A quick consultation of the topographical map informs me I covered a little more than twice as much ground as I'd intended - a bit too much, perhaps, a tad overindulgent. But it was only my body that overate, not my soul. The body isn't used to such big meals, but the soul hungers for more than the canapes & veggie dip my timid perambulations have so far offered. The soul is voracious, ever hungry for the spiritual sustenance promised by the beatific solitude one finds in wild places, even along their dilute edges where they press close upon our settlements. Even in these fringes one can hear the beating heart of the earth, and observe untamed growth thriving without any intervention from us. One never feels alone in these places; one feels a Belonging.

these roads
twixt the village
and my church

oh, that view
so special
so ordinary

[saw]

aah the familiar bliss of days gone by
the freedom of mobility, the landmarks
that remind you how special they are
when taken away, the longing for ....well
that special routine


"oh, that view
so special
so ordinary "


very happy that you see and embrace the progress
it means everything

I'm experiencing a lot of mysterious health problems
that the John Hopkins docs are trying to figure out
so I especially feel a connection to your poem
as some of my activities have been curtailed...

oh, aging can be a challenge at times

keep up the good work Roy......enjoy those moments of special ordinary

[sasha]

thanks for your reply, Steve - I sincerely hope JH resolves your issues to the point you can return to those untamed charging stations... aging does indeed demand compromises, and sometimes reluctant acceptance... what else can we do but press forward anyway?

[stilltrucking]

You touched a nerve.
MY cdl been a meal ticket for me since 1975
diesel longing
motion emotion
drive on drive on



I been a Ne'er do well all my life my dear departed rose of san antone(blessed be her memor)y used to tell me. Only thing I ever did well was drive a semi.
Now I am telling myself if I fail the D.O.T physical I will at least be able to drive a 4 wheeler .
You ever hear a voice that says u r 81 years old fuck it smoke that cigarette.
drive on sasha, drive on
thanks for writting