The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
hi friends - this started many many years ago and i wanted to re-write it. Please offer opinions, how to make it more effective or whatever. Thanks
The Channeler
faded khaki backpack
sliding off slim shoulders
‘Dear ones, do not fear…’
emaciated specter
rasping portents
'Arise. Have faith. Believe.
All is for a purpose...'
A shudder, a thud
A heap on the sidewalk
his message
etched in our minds
The Channeler
faded khaki backpack
sliding off slim shoulders
‘Dear ones, do not fear…’
emaciated specter
rasping portents
'Arise. Have faith. Believe.
All is for a purpose...'
A shudder, a thud
A heap on the sidewalk
his message
etched in our minds
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
I cannot listen to the audio, but I like the images with its rather mysterious encounter that lends itself to many possibilities
the message, though a bit eerie, is positive......from beyond the ordinary ....and thus stands out as something important
and I like the economy.......no need to be verbose.......
the message, though a bit eerie, is positive......from beyond the ordinary ....and thus stands out as something important
and I like the economy.......no need to be verbose.......
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading
you may end up where you are heading
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
thanks, Steve. Sorry you can’t hear the track, but it’s not essential
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
i just uploaded a different sound file. Maybe it'll worksaw wrote: ↑December 11th, 2021, 9:29 amI cannot listen to the audio, but I like the images with its rather mysterious encounter that lends itself to many possibilities
the message, though a bit eerie, is positive......from beyond the ordinary ....and thus stands out as something important
and I like the economy.......no need to be verbose.......
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
It's not your recording, it's my brain judih ......that hears most everything as muffled noise.....
but I like the words !
but I like the words !
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading
you may end up where you are heading
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
thanks. And a tip of the hat to your new way of experiencing sound.
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
I'm not quite sure what to make of it
subtlety & nuance often elude me
but I get a dark & ominous vibe
somehow reminiscent of HP Lovecraft's "Nyarlathotep"
though this is much quieter
and open-ended
it ends with a ?
not a !
subtlety & nuance often elude me
but I get a dark & ominous vibe
somehow reminiscent of HP Lovecraft's "Nyarlathotep"
though this is much quieter
and open-ended
it ends with a ?
not a !
.
"Falsehood flies, the Truth comes limping after it." - Jonathan Swift, ca. 1710
"Falsehood flies, the Truth comes limping after it." - Jonathan Swift, ca. 1710
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
good observation, roy. Actually everything ends with a '?', or in other words, so far there's no absolute surety to anything.
-
- Posts: 4650
- Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
I need more details
I am pretty much sure that the field is wide open..
Conduit
Chandler
Vassal
I am pretty much sure that the field is wide open..
Conduit
Chandler
Vassal
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
I should have said "sinister undercurrents"
the darkness is implied, not stated
or at least that's what my iiteralist's antennae pick up
.
"Falsehood flies, the Truth comes limping after it." - Jonathan Swift, ca. 1710
"Falsehood flies, the Truth comes limping after it." - Jonathan Swift, ca. 1710
-
- Posts: 4650
- Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
Kaleidoscope
Fractured vision
Fractured vision
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
sparse details because i didn't want to cloud the arena, but perhaps i'll take this piece into different directions. (haiku writing has taken a toll!) Thanks jana, roy, steve for reading and deliberating and commenting.
- stilltrucking
- Posts: 20605
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
channeling
st jean k.
a purpose or a porpoise
spooky voice of childhood innocence
and thats all i got to say about that says the jackofnightmares circa 1944
thank you for sharing the experience.
double plus
st jean k.
a purpose or a porpoise
spooky voice of childhood innocence
and thats all i got to say about that says the jackofnightmares circa 1944
thank you for sharing the experience.
double plus
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
thanks, jack for reading and deliberating!
- stilltrucking
- Posts: 20605
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
Re: The Channeler - please critique (not kidding)
more like a spontaneous reaction
to the pervasive voice of purpose
by my heretical faith
I resist that.
to the pervasive voice of purpose
by my heretical faith
I resist that.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests