Let The Children Dance

[izeveryboyin]

**This was on my livejournal, from last year.


It's cold out, or maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just cold. Maybe my eyes are seeing things you know? Drift... Drift. Or maybe, it's the man who said he's married now, or maybe it's that I miss my best friend, or maybe it's that I drink too fucking much, you know? Maybe it's that I drink. Or, or, or maybe it's that I don't fuck anymore or that I've never given head, or maybe even that I always hated using Lifestyle condoms. Drift... Drift. Maybe it's that I might get published soon. Maybe it's that I write. Maybe it's that I don't laugh enough or maybe it's that I smoke a lot and curse at moving shapes my mind creates in the dark. Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's everything, or fuck, maybe... maybe it's just cold outside.

I liked this guy and, well, now I think I don't or maybe it's just nothing--emptiness or something. A proximity infatuation, a crush b/c I wanted to, and he was right there... right there for the moment, and cute; he always smiled at me. Death could be upon him and he'd smile at me. I've been alone for awhile now, what's another year? besides, I'm here, you know. And I think, I think it only makes sense to say that I probably always will be, and who knows, maybe some day I'll like it.

I used to sing a lot, and even dance around the house naked sometimes, b/c I could. Or sometimes I fall asleep in the bathtub, drunk, and somewhat pleased with life. Partially sated, and yet secretly starved for more, always more. Let the little children dance with me. Let them all dance. And I'll be naked, and dead on a pillow with my words on tiny scraps of paper, used tissues strewn about. The night is bright and all alight, I'll die alone some day. They'll burn me and scatter the ashes in the Pere Lachaise. Let's schedule the festivities tomorrow.

[hester_prynne]

I'm picturing you lying in a bathtub on a pink shell-shaped pillow, with bits of paper with writing on them strewn around you like rose petals, little children are dancing all around....

very vivid. Your writing makes me see pictures in my head that are always charming, yet a little twisted too. I dig that.

I dig your drifts.
Hope you are saving them....

H

[izeveryboyin]

I save them all so that when I'm old and sane again, I can remeber how psycho I was.

--k

[mousey1]

You know I like this one....especially your epitaph!