Axanderdumped PC

[Axanderdeath]

I went to an AA meeting the other night and it was the most depressing thing ever. A bunch of old men with those purple sweat stained coats that they wear all wear around sitting in the basement of a church. I kept thing about the support group seems in the movie Fight Club (I have not read the book.) I had a bandage on my hand from the week end before that made me think I should to a meeting, the bandage and breaking up with my girlfriend; breaking up with my girl friend prompted me to go out drinking, and drinking prompted me to do stupid things like try to steal some shoes (two left ladies shoes of different sizes and styles) and the guy grabbing my arm so hard he sprained my thumb. Admitting that made me fit right in. A man stood up and introduced himself with, “and I am an alcoholic” after. This turned me off. It made me think do I want to be walking around with all this shame; do I want to join this self pitying group of cry babies? I listened to the speaker and at the end got out of the place as quickly as possible.

It is not that I don’t think that I can act like an ass a lot when I am drunk. It is that I don’t want to become a recovering alcoholic. I hate people like this. They are boring. I might go to a meeting now and again to deterring myself from drinking every day since my girl friend dumped me. But become a member, fuck, I could never.

Really this is just me trying not to call my girl friend (I got to stop calling her that) my X every two minutes. She has been nice about everything and still lets me fuck her. She would probably take me back if she was not going to Spain in a month, but really that is beside the point she is not “in love with me” any more and only “loves me.” Those are her words. Why do women have to be so calculative about things? Why do they have to always have something important to do like clean there bath tube?

SO I came to the library and wrote this, and now I am going to see if I can reach my X. Have a goodie everyone.

[Trevor]

Hi Axander,

"I went to an AA meeting the other night and it was the most depressing thing ever. A bunch of old men with those purple sweat stained coats that they wear all wear around sitting in the basement of a church."

Starts out a decent piece, captures the readers attention.

"I kept thing about the support group seems in the movie Fight Club (I have not read the book.) "

Seems an unnecessary reference to an external literary source. Personally I'd chop it out, doesn't really add anything to the story.

"I had a bandage on my hand from the week end before that made me think I should to a meeting, the bandage and breaking up with my girlfriend; breaking up with my girl friend prompted me to go out drinking, and drinking prompted me to do stupid things like try to steal some shoes (two left ladies shoes of different sizes and styles) and the guy grabbing my arm so hard he sprained my thumb. "

I really liked this part, wickedly funny story. I think you gave enough description to the reader to let them know what happened, yet not too much detail so the reader can use their imagination to picture the main character on a drunken shoe stealing spree...made me giggle.

"A man stood up and introduced himself with, “and I am an alcoholic” after. This turned me off. It made me think do I want to be walking around with all this shame; do I want to join this self pitying group of cry babies? I listened to the speaker and at the end got out of the place as quickly as possible."

This is where it got interesting for me. A really good section to show the confusion of the character. He thinking it is shameful to seek out help, not shameful to be a wayward drunk and do things that get his thumb dislocated. The great thing too about the character is he is shallow enough not to see the courage and humbleness it takes for the other characters to deal with an addiction or coping mechanism and plays the, "too cool" card when he opts out of participating.

"It is not that I don’t think that I can act like an ass a lot when I am drunk. It is that I don’t want to become a recovering alcoholic. I hate people like this. They are boring. I might go to a meeting now and again to deterring myself from drinking every day since my girl friend dumped me. But become a member, fuck, I could never."

Another great job in showing the characters confusions through his hypocrasy. One hand, he calls those who are in AA boring and cry babies, yet the character crys and whines about them and constantly about his ex-girlfriend, which could be construed by those who hear him talk about it all the time as boring as well.

"Really this is just me trying not to call my girl friend (I got to stop calling her that) my X every two minutes. She has been nice about everything and still lets me fuck her."

Again, great job in showing the character's shallow disposition by saying he finds it nice she still lets him fuck her.

"She would probably take me back if she was not going to Spain in a month, but really that is beside the point she is not “in love with me” any more and only “loves me.” Those are her words. Why do women have to be so calculative about things? Why do they have to always have something important to do like clean there bath tube?"

Wow, great section -- really hits home how shallow this character is. It shows the character's mysogynistic view of women and how he likens them to cleaning and sexual subservient robots. The great thing too about this whole story and the lead character is -- it sounds like he thinks he loves her, yet all his thoughts on love are about what's best for him, what he wants and doesn't take into consideration what is best for her -- which doesn't sound like he knows what love actually is. It's a really great character driven piece about a self centered man lamenting over lost love through whining and alcohol. Its packed full of contridiction, like when the character hints at calling her all the time then quips that she should have something "important" to do like tub cleaning...anyways, great read, thanks for sharing it.

[Axanderdeath]

Hi Axander,

"I went to an AA meeting the other night and it was the most depressing thing ever. A bunch of old men with those purple sweat stained coats that they wear all wear around sitting in the basement of a church."

Starts out a decent piece, captures the readers attention.

"I kept thing about the support group seems in the movie Fight Club (I have not read the book.) "

Seems an unnecessary reference to an external literary source. Personally I'd chop it out, doesn't really add anything to the story.

"I had a bandage on my hand from the week end before that made me think I should to a meeting, the bandage and breaking up with my girlfriend; breaking up with my girl friend prompted me to go out drinking, and drinking prompted me to do stupid things like try to steal some shoes (two left ladies shoes of different sizes and styles) and the guy grabbing my arm so hard he sprained my thumb. "

I really liked this part, wickedly funny story. I think you gave enough description to the reader to let them know what happened, yet not too much detail so the reader can use their imagination to picture the main character on a drunken shoe stealing spree...made me giggle.

"A man stood up and introduced himself with, “and I am an alcoholic” after. This turned me off. It made me think do I want to be walking around with all this shame; do I want to join this self pitying group of cry babies? I listened to the speaker and at the end got out of the place as quickly as possible."

This is where it got interesting for me. A really good section to show the confusion of the character. He thinking it is shameful to seek out help, not shameful to be a wayward drunk and do things that get his thumb dislocated. The great thing too about the character is he is shallow enough not to see the courage and humbleness it takes for the other characters to deal with an addiction or coping mechanism and plays the, "too cool" card when he opts out of participating.

"It is not that I don’t think that I can act like an ass a lot when I am drunk. It is that I don’t want to become a recovering alcoholic. I hate people like this. They are boring. I might go to a meeting now and again to deterring myself from drinking every day since my girl friend dumped me. But become a member, fuck, I could never."

Another great job in showing the characters confusions through his hypocrasy. One hand, he calls those who are in AA boring and cry babies, yet the character crys and whines about them and constantly about his ex-girlfriend, which could be construed by those who hear him talk about it all the time as boring as well.

"Really this is just me trying not to call my girl friend (I got to stop calling her that) my X every two minutes. She has been nice about everything and still lets me fuck her."

Again, great job in showing the character's shallow disposition by saying he finds it nice she still lets him fuck her.

"She would probably take me back if she was not going to Spain in a month, but really that is beside the point she is not “in love with me” any more and only “loves me.” Those are her words. Why do women have to be so calculative about things? Why do they have to always have something important to do like clean there bath tube?"

Wow, great section -- really hits home how shallow this character is. It shows the character's mysogynistic view of women and how he likens them to cleaning and sexual subservient robots. The great thing too about this whole story and the lead character is -- it sounds like he thinks he loves her, yet all his thoughts on love are about what's best for him, what he wants and doesn't take into consideration what is best for her -- which doesn't sound like he knows what love actually is. It's a really great character driven piece about a self centered man lamenting over lost love through whining and alcohol. Its packed full of contridiction, like when the character hints at calling her all the time then quips that she should have something "important" to do like tub cleaning...anyways, great read, thanks for sharing it.

Thanks for reading... I and the character in this story. I hope you know that. You probally did.