Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

I was in college
As a returning adult student
I had a education counselor
I was determined to tame the beast
With in me
The one that could not concentrate
The one thAt sun danced
Took sttaterra ( medication)
Focus focus
I Always get nervous
When people start saying that
Unless it’s funny that day
I got a degree at 50
I felt so smart
But I was married - to this guy
I met in AA at a meeting on campus
I should have known there was going to be a problem
When I asked him if he wanted to go bowling
Portland - -
Anyway- I just wanted him
Like a toy
Or a fix
- like a cat in heat - I wanted to cuddle with him and sleep
Among other things
However
As it would happen
He had been in prison for five years
And was a meth cook
Apparently that is like a revered position among criminals
He came complete with twin boys
In a foster home
A sick mom in a rest home
And a probation officer

And we just were not reading the same books
He liked to lay on the couch
Go to work at leather man tool
And whatever not much else
Video games yeah
The house was large enough that I could go to my wing and paint or watch what I wanted without the gun noises f the videos


I guess without cigarettes and pet snakes we were doomed
But we were never gonna make it
I knew when he put mirrors over the bed I was in trouble
Barbie and Ken

I don’t get it


But I wanted to Snow White and sleep for a long time

I knew then there was a problem
Kidney stones

He is dead
The last time I saw him he looked like a fly stuck in a black web
Maybe I was right

He said things to me like “ you have seen it”..


Ok well limitless skies told me that he was gone
Bye bye

He was someone that was very damaged

I was still thinking my degree would be of some use

Nope

some wild history at times makes us who we are
and its good to acknowledge the details
which is why we write

met a lady online once
needy & pleading she was
and after a brief courtship of words
we met face to face
and you know...
for a while it was good
the sex
the laughter
the quiet talks...
but it couldn't last
it couldn't work
not with her rages
and my reserve
she wanted what she wanted
and nothing more
and when that became clear
all I wanted was Out
"You don't love me," she stormed
"You just love love"
and maybe she was right
I wanted to love her
to make her (and me) whole
but.............

A lot of life is nope, and our best plans are a temporary part of it. Plans and ideas are great until they get smacked in the mouth, then life happens.

Yes it’s very true what you all say