Age Over Easy - a one act play
Posted: May 13th, 2005, 3:05 pm
Scene 1.
Him - Let's go to IHOP for brunch. Get ready.
Her - Let's wait a bit. I have some work I need to get done.
Him - Let's go now. They have Seniors Specials. I'm hungry and I've never ordered a Senior's Special before. I could save a dollar.
Her- OK. That's a big savings. I'll get ready.
Him - Hurry up! I'm not getting any younger.
Her- OK. I'm ready. Let's go eat.
Him - Let's go. OK
Scene 2.
Him - Two please, smoking.
Hostess - Yes sir. Follow me, sir.
Him - Thank you.
*looking at menus*
Him - See here? Senior Specials. They're all like a dollar cheaper. Do you think they'll question my age? I mean, I don't have any ID to prove I'm old enough. I've never done this before.
Her - I don't think they'll question it, but if they do, we'll just pay the extra dollar.
Him- No! I shouldn't have to pay the extra dollar if I qualify as a Senior. And I do. I'm 56.
Her - Yep. You've qualified for over a year now. Why haven't you done this before?
Him - I always figured I look to young and they'd question my age and I have no ID to prove it. I'm worried the waitress will question my age.
Her - Don't worry, sweetheart. We can always pay the extra dollar.
Him - No! That's not right. Because I qualify.
Her - OK, dear. What will you be ordering?
Him - Right here. See? One pancake, one egg, one link sausage, one piece of bacon, one piece of toast, and hash browns. Senior Special #4.
Her - OK. Sounds delicious.
Him - Yeah. I hope they don't question my age.
Her - Don't worry. If they do, we can always pay the extra dollar.
Him - No! I qualify!
Her - OK. I believe you.
Him - Good! Thank you. I've never done this before.
Her - Well, you should have started over a year ago. Think of all the dollars you would have saved!
Him - Yeah, but I was afraid they'd question my age.
Her- I know.
Scene 3.
Waitress - Good morning! What can I get you today?
Her - I'll have the Quick Breakfast, 2 eggs over easy, hash browns and a toasted English muffin. Coffee, please, a small orange juice, and a glass of ice water.
Waitress - Yes, ma'am! Thank you for your order. And you, sir?
Him - Tomato juice, please, small. And see here? #4 on the Senior Special.
Waitress - Yes, sir! How would you like your egg?
Him - 56
Waitress - Sir?
Him - I'm sorry, I have no ID to prove it, but it's true. I'm 56.
Waitress - Sir? How would you like your egg?
Him - 56, really! I'm not kidding.
Her - Honey, she's asking you how you'd like your egg, not what is your age?
Him - Oh. Over easy, please.
Waitress - Yes sir!
Her - *whispering to waitress* Sorry, he's a little hard of hearing.
Him - What's that you say? You lost an earring?
Him - Let's go to IHOP for brunch. Get ready.
Her - Let's wait a bit. I have some work I need to get done.
Him - Let's go now. They have Seniors Specials. I'm hungry and I've never ordered a Senior's Special before. I could save a dollar.
Her- OK. That's a big savings. I'll get ready.
Him - Hurry up! I'm not getting any younger.
Her- OK. I'm ready. Let's go eat.
Him - Let's go. OK
Scene 2.
Him - Two please, smoking.
Hostess - Yes sir. Follow me, sir.
Him - Thank you.
*looking at menus*
Him - See here? Senior Specials. They're all like a dollar cheaper. Do you think they'll question my age? I mean, I don't have any ID to prove I'm old enough. I've never done this before.
Her - I don't think they'll question it, but if they do, we'll just pay the extra dollar.
Him- No! I shouldn't have to pay the extra dollar if I qualify as a Senior. And I do. I'm 56.
Her - Yep. You've qualified for over a year now. Why haven't you done this before?
Him - I always figured I look to young and they'd question my age and I have no ID to prove it. I'm worried the waitress will question my age.
Her - Don't worry, sweetheart. We can always pay the extra dollar.
Him - No! That's not right. Because I qualify.
Her - OK, dear. What will you be ordering?
Him - Right here. See? One pancake, one egg, one link sausage, one piece of bacon, one piece of toast, and hash browns. Senior Special #4.
Her - OK. Sounds delicious.
Him - Yeah. I hope they don't question my age.
Her - Don't worry. If they do, we can always pay the extra dollar.
Him - No! I qualify!
Her - OK. I believe you.
Him - Good! Thank you. I've never done this before.
Her - Well, you should have started over a year ago. Think of all the dollars you would have saved!
Him - Yeah, but I was afraid they'd question my age.
Her- I know.
Scene 3.
Waitress - Good morning! What can I get you today?
Her - I'll have the Quick Breakfast, 2 eggs over easy, hash browns and a toasted English muffin. Coffee, please, a small orange juice, and a glass of ice water.
Waitress - Yes, ma'am! Thank you for your order. And you, sir?
Him - Tomato juice, please, small. And see here? #4 on the Senior Special.
Waitress - Yes, sir! How would you like your egg?
Him - 56
Waitress - Sir?
Him - I'm sorry, I have no ID to prove it, but it's true. I'm 56.
Waitress - Sir? How would you like your egg?
Him - 56, really! I'm not kidding.
Her - Honey, she's asking you how you'd like your egg, not what is your age?
Him - Oh. Over easy, please.
Waitress - Yes sir!
Her - *whispering to waitress* Sorry, he's a little hard of hearing.
Him - What's that you say? You lost an earring?
This was just an embellished real life scenerio and to compare it to Beckett is wowowow... pretty darn flattering but nahhhh... it's just what happened the other day, though I did add a few lines. Thanks much! Glad you got a kick out of it.... The joke you didn't get, well, maybe it was lame, I guess.. I was trying to say that when being escorted by a senior who is hard of hearing and concerned about whether people would believe him when he claimed to be a senior, he might misunderstand the words which were spoken (same as in my little real life adaptation of a play) --- so "crepes" could sound to him like "great!" and "made" could sound to him like "age" -- weak, yeah... oh well! Just making myself laugh over here.... 