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Facial ID

Posted: May 8th, 2026, 3:03 am
by Doreen Peri
My phone didn’t recognize my face
for a minute. I couldn’t get in it.
Probably ‘cause of frowns or some other
blubber, tears or a slight veer from my
normal demeanor or somewhere in between
perfectly normal and not. I have no clue why
to be truthful. All I got is this not-so-youthful
expressions of dismay. Why wouldn’t my phone
open with my face like it was supposed to?

Most of you don’t have an answer, I see.
What a stupid idea, Facial ID.

Our expressions can change dramatically and
the me you would see last week or even yesterday
is completely different than the me you’d see today!
This is a grand technological fail! I’m the insignificant
warning, soon to be large scale
because my phone didn’t recognize my face
for a minute. I couldn’t get in it.

(This is serious business! Don’t laugh)

Re: Facial ID

Posted: May 8th, 2026, 5:07 pm
by sasha
bless me father for I have sinned
50 years since my last confession
and here's my worst sin -
I hate my iPhone
sacrilege, I know
heresy
but I hate that thing
with a passion usually reserved for beets
and current pop music...
took me an hour to figure out
how to delete an old text -
never did get voice navigation to work -
and by the time I managed to answer
an incoming call
they'd hung up...
all it ever does for me
is raise my blood pressure
so until the day
that I can deep-six the fucking thing
in laurel lake
it sits on a shelf
uncharged
silently giving me
the finger