story

[Axanderdeath]

A day in the life of a dishwasher


“It was a fuck of a day-shit! It was mad. Really you have no idea!”
Dale said ringing his hands, and looking like he was about to blow red bloody shit from his ears, then pick a up “cutting knife” (as dale always called them) and begin chopping his own innards up with half his head spurting bloody mind matter all about. I always liked a good ranter and sat back and let the insane fuck rantify. “Fucking stupid bitch-Fuck fuck! Oh what the fuck was I going to? Err she just would not shut up!” Dale as growing redder and redder by the minute I had to tell him to shut up.

The day was never really explained to, me-not in full at least. I was working in a kitchen and just about all of the kitchen staff was from Iraq, and Dale was the most crazy, evidently Dale’s real name was not Dale do to it’s un Iraqness, He did have trouble with his girl friend. She did not cook or clean for Dale. It was sad his sexist head never did really blow off.

I’d get up in the cold ass Calgary morning and shiver my way up to the bus stop and wait-listening to the banter of “fucking Calgarians,” (as I had started to mumble from time to time under my breath-trying not to look crazy.) I’d get down to the centre city and walk in to the restaurant, and Dale would always be at it, with his jack ass smile and black hair slicked back-a real cool guy-telling every one about his personal life and how the judge was making him go to anger management courses. He would be cutting the meat and would go on about “the bitch” or we would ask Dale “what’s up with the bitch?” He would never get mad, no, he would just go on where he left of the day before.

The wait-staff at the restaurant were all very up class ladies and they knew it and snubbed it up. I washed the dishes; “nice dress” would come from my mouth from time to time with out a real reply. They were really beautiful. My particular favorite was a "red head" that was a really a mean sassy girl but I liked her because of that and she knew it. I’d be washing the dishes (my job) and really going at it-scrubbing and splashing water all over my self and “Red head” would come in and tell me not to strain myself too hard, and she would say things like this all the time. One time I said back to her, “strain, you want strain!” Then I went scrubbing even harder. She was impressed.

“Red head” was not in that day so I was a little sad and glumly looking around the kitchen. Dale was slicing his meat with a sad smile on because some one had told him to shut-up. It was around Christmas and I noticed in the staff room a flyer that said “Christmas staff party-FREE DRINKS!” and an address which I copied down, it was that very night.
“Dale, you want to drink a bit before the party?” I asked and he did. We went to my apartment because it was closer to the party than Dale’s and started on the whiskey that I had bought. We put on T.V. and watched “the drunk’s Christmas” staring Frank Paathead, he was in all “the drunk’s” movies, and it was rumored that he was a drunk. Frank Paathead’s character is a drunk that is alone on Christmas Eve, and he is getting drunk when a knock on the door comes and it is a sad forlorn girl that is cold and needs some food and warm place to stay, and beer which Frank Paathead’s character has a lot of. The rest of the movie is them having long conversations-slurring out the meaning of life and everything else, but Hollywood ignored it and YOU probably never have heard of it. It is one of the most touching story of a drunk alone on Christmas ever made in that year-1978.

The party was held at “redhead’s.” I was overjoyed, and hoped that she would let us in. Why would she not? First of all we were the most hated people that worked at the restaurant, and second we were already noticeably drunk. But we were let in by “red head” with a smile that was as amazing as her herself and that is very much amazing. I smiled back, and then she frowned. We hung out with the other kitchen staff-they all were talking Arabic so I wondered in to the wait staff’s room (also where all the free booze was.) “Red head” was talking with the “gay waiter.” I walked up and sat by “Red head” and tried to get in on the conversation. They were talking about shopping, and I did not have much to say so I sipped quite steadily on the beer and when I went to the washroom I always grabbed another, even if I was not done the one in my hand when I first got up to go to the washroom, and also I grabbed on for “gay waiter” and “red head.” They were both getting real drunk.

It was known around the restaurant that “red head” had a big crush on “gay waiter” but “gay waiter” was gay. Red head was getting to the point of drunkenness that she forgot that “gay waiter” was gay or something and “gay waiter” was scared off. Then it was me and a very horny “red head” that I thought was the sexiest thing in the world and we were talking.

“How long have you been working here, at ‘Gumpies’ Samantha?” (Samantha is Red head) I asked, I had been working there for 4 months and she was there when I started.

“Oh, too long.” She laughed and reached out drunkenly with a fist and playfully hit me on the chin. I playfully grabbed her waist and she melted in to my hands.

“Enough fighting.” I said and our eyes meet and it was great and all that romantic chemistry… Or at least I thought.

“Have you ever seen ‘Drunk’s Christmas’?” I asked her. She put her hand over her mouth and started to giggle.

“what?” I said.

“You’re strained… You cute little boy.” I did not like to be called a little boy, even by red heads. She seemed very drunk and unfortunately I was not about to take advantage of her. I wanted to. I wanted to take her to her room and to fuck her until I could not fuck any more… take a nap and then fuck her again. But I still had some morals then and I did not get to fuck her. I stayed there until she passed out and one of her friends and I put her to bed. Her friend was a little chubby and kept grabbing my ass, I left after that.

Every one was hung over the next day at work. Dale was not talking which was strange. “Red head” came in to pick up an order.

“I fucked her last night.” Dale said after she took out the order.

“I don’t think you did, I put her to bed last night” I said, everyone laughed at me. You can figure what they thought.

“You dirty little ant” wink wink wink-her eye went, red head had come back for some other order and one of the cooks reiterated what had transpired. “Telling ever one you slept with me, you worm, your lucky I don’t get you fired.” Winking the eye the whole time until I asked her:

“Something wrong with your eye?”

“What you fucking sick jerk, don’t talk to me.”

“What d……………..”

“Shut-up” She yelled in a shrill of a voice and I did. I did not care. She was winking the whole time. She was straining. Everyone else could not see it they all looked at me and then down. After 5 or 10 minutes Dale was talking about his personal problems with women and every one welcomed his bullshit or maybe not bullshit but welcomed it just the same.

As I was going to change “Red head” told me to wait in the change room for her. I contemplated just sitting there in my boxers, or better yet naked, but I decided that that might not be the best Idea because I am no kind of model and also that may not be what she had in mind. I tried telling my self that it was not what she had in mind. This is a trick of mine, telling myself that it won’t work then I won’t be disappointed when it is not the what I want, and if it is the worse that is okay because I thought it would be anyway. So maybe she got me fired or something, I thought. I thought how shitty it would be to be broke on Christmas.

She came in with an indecipherable look on her face. She sat down and put her hands over her face. She was sitting in the small chair and sat in front of the door so no one would come in. I thought for she wanted me, but waited for her to say something.
“Somebody likes you.” She said and I was wondering why she said that… then “thanks for help to put me to bed. And sorry about yelling at you, I can’t lose face around here, but the girl you help to put me to bed likes you.”

“Good” I said in a way that most people would take as sarcasm, but I am not sure if “red head” did.

Oh shit. ‘I don’t want your fat friend I want you.’ I thought of saying, but that would not have been nice. Then she kissed me on the cheek and I watched as her firm happy buttocks bounced out of the changing room. I felt like a little kid. I got out of the restaurant game a little while after, and then out of Calgary.
















A story by:
Geoffrey Alexander Parsons

[stilltrucking]

I know I didn't have to read it but I did. Just to put my fu*k me post just a little farther down the line. Bury it.

I tell this much for what it is worth. It has been a long day, my eyes are bleary, it hurts to look at this screen. But I could read your story. I think that means it was pretty good. Painless scroll. Take that to Gumpies with a dollar and half and you can buy a cup of coffee with it.

[gypsyjoker]

I was not about to take advantage of her.

I don't get that. It is a question of intent I think. If you were trying to get her into a stupor, like those creeps that use date rape pills then you are a nice guy and a good man.

But the old lady I live with has to have a couple of shots before she can lay her body down next to mine. She says it is like that song about how the girls all get prettier at closing time. I know what she means. I got this old withered body and rotten teeth that even a desperate woman could not love.

Maybe the red headed one just needed to be high, some sexual trauma that she needed to soften the edges of with booze. Not like she was unconsious, was she?

That movie you mentioned A drunk's christmass not only hollywood ignored it but google has too. I could not find anything about it.

I like listening to your story, just found that bit about taking advantage of her a bit odd. Maybe it was a morality thing, she felt like a bad girl for commiting the sin of fornication and needed the booze as an excuse. I know nothing about women so don't take this too serious. Not that you would.

I had a short but sweet romance one time when I was drunk and so was she. But in the morning she was sober and so was I. But I was still smiling in the mellow morning light but she was not. I think it might have been a revenge fuck on her part. I don't know, don't care. Just grateful. It was also the morning I started reading Anne Sexton,


I dosee ya later

[Lightning Rod]

I stopped fucking for spite years ago
It simplified my love life

and as for fucking the unconscious
it is simply boring

it is not a matter of being a gentleman
not to do it
it's just a question of attention span

[stilltrucking]

You may have stopped fucking for revenge, but I think a woman's revenge is sweeter than man's. Not to condem all my brothers, but so many got a big streak of O J simpson in them. ( an alledged streak in O J's case"
I don't think a day or hour or even minute goes by in this country when a woman is not battered, assaulted or murdered by a man, usually one she thought she knew quite well


"Chorus:
Take it back
Take it back
Oh no, you can’t say that
All of my friends
Are not dead or in jail
Through rock and through stone
The black wind still moans
Sweet revenge
Sweet revenge
Without fail."
from the john prine shrine



any love is good love
I suppose when a woman is dumped or betrayed by a husband or lover it is a blow to her ego. I can see where she can say to herself I am desirable, I can make a man happy, fuck that jerk I can find a better man. I have had that happen to me, not that I was a bettter man, just that I might have been a fantascy, I mean when I was a younger man. I seemed to have a certain neandrathal attraction for some women,
I used to attend a certain church, down the street was the headquaters of a motorcycle gang (we used to call them clubs in baltimore) I suppose I looked a lot like I might have been a member. I had hair down below my shoulders and a beard like SB, a woman showed up one day for a meeting. She payed a lot of attention to me. She was a tall red head built like a brick shit house. Somehow we ended up in bed together. SHe has two children a very typical normal family, but she had found out her husband had been cheating. We went around together for a week or so, we went to very public places together in her neighborhood, a play, a movie, her country club with the kids. I thought she was kind of dragging me around with her so all her/his friends could see that she was hooked up with a motorcycle gang member. I thought that was a pretty sweet revenge.





This conflicting impulses, unconsious misery, oh the lies we tell our selves. I know a woman I am sure she would be much happier as a lesbian, but her bible tells her to love the sinner and hate the sin. So she is a mess.

break a leg in charm city


you will meet some friendy people there, so be sure to where a flower in your hair
and if you are up around north avenue and you meet a guy with a piece of two by four in his hand, don't turn your back on him like I did.

edited twice

[hester_prynne]

Alex, I enjoyed this story. I really felt the different "spaces" everyone was in, and being put in by others around them, it felt very real life, navigating the impressions and beliefs people harbor about themselves, and each other, the desires, the wishes,
unsaid.

The underlying narrative is just a tad monotone for my attention span, but the story is interesting and made me think enough to keep awake despite it.

A really good little read!
thanks for posting.
H

[mindbum]

i like uniraqness and laughed and saw and grimaced servral times through

how is your pile of writing doing? here's another good story in it. if it had a good unifying force or factor you could turn out a good autobio novella pretty easily. but, as hester didnt say but i'm saying she said: good characters have to show change to give a story a complete arc. static characters are stagnant.

did you just write this? it seems to come together well... an improvement overall stylewise. a little bit tighter.

i've almost come to terms with the fact that you spell like a fourth grader.

there's a certain calgarian blankness present... like the canadian plains?

what's next?

[mindbum]

oh yeah... and what's this movie?

i'm interested.

[Axanderdeath]

I made the movie up, and maybe some day i will write it. i thought my spelling was good in that story. I re-wrote it. I wrote it last year and just decided to check the spelling and the sintax (or what ever) so i am suprised that one or all of you found the spelling bad.

Overall I am just glad to see sombody read it. The Drunk's screen plays will be written. And about what one of you said about a auto-bio novella I have thought about that. At some time I will have to buy a lap top and do it. Right now the only computer access I have is at a university, and I can't really write here.

Everyone thanks for reading
Geoff