tell me if you can think of a title

[Traveller13]

it happened all of a sudden
7:08 am
Heathrow airport
the guy's mouth litterally flew open
I swear
never saw anything like that before
his jaw didn't break, it's just the way his mouth
swung open
it was exactly like a bird extending it's wings
or something
and then it oozed out of is mouth
just like that
and invaded the store
and probably extended to the whole airport
maybe the whole world, I dunno
it was like
sheet music
black and white sheet music
it curled and rapped itself everywhere
around clothes, around benches, around people
and then everything started
like
bending
like guitar strings
I swear
when someone steps
it's like someone strumming on a violin
or cello
opening a book feels like a piano note
this girl turns and her pitch goes up
the person next to her laughs a cristaline imporvisation
people are amazed
and then the guy gets up
and heads towards the exit
every single step he makes
is like an intricate set of chords
playing and confronting each other
his steps were the most beautiful thing to hear
I swear
everyone gets up too
and applauds him as he leaves
butterfly notes sparkling from their hands
as the resulting spheres of marvelous sound hit our eardrums
and that's why
I step up
and run after him
you see
he forgot his violin

[Doreen Peri]

fabulous writing! Excellent stuff!

I love the repetition of "I swear"

I also loved the narrative, natural speaking voice approach. Nice!

are you a ferlinghetti fan?

Reminded me of several poems from his "coney island of the mind" collection which was the first collection of poetry I fell in love with when I was in my teens...

Title? I donno...

how about "Heathrow airport - 7:08 am"

lol... how creative is THAT? ha!

I like it, though, because it's simple and doesn't give the piece away ... makes the reader want to know what happened there.

Or you could get more creative and call it, " Violin airport in crystaline pitch"

or ????

I donno.

Thanks for sharing this piece!

[iblieve]

I agree with Doreen beautiful vocie excellent narrative. Loved the way you describe the actions surrealistically. I'd call it "Harmony Before Flight of Fancy," lol but I'm crazy . "C"

[hester_prynne]

I like this too!
I swear I could hear and see the music!
I'd run after someone who generated music like that too! On violin feet even!
I really enjoyed reading this.
Very cool, imaginative piece.
Thank you for sharing it here. Made my day!

As for titles? I dunno. Violin feet? A plane to catch?

Nice work.
H

[Traveller13]

I haven't read or heard of ferlinghetti before, maybe once.

thank yous

looks like an appropriate title would be at the tip of my tongue but won't come out
I'll have to think about it
I don't want a title that has something to do with the words in the text
brrmmbmmrmbmmrmmrrrrrmmrbmrm
something will come up, sooner or later.

Thanks again.

[Doreen Peri]

Here's one for you.... He's describing you.... *smile*

"Constantly Risking Absurdity"
 by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Constantly risking absurdity
and death
whenever he performs
above the heads
of his audience
the poet like an acrobat
climbs on rime
to a high wire of his own making
and balancing on eyebeams
above a sea of faces
paces his way
to the other side of the day
performing entrachats
and sleight-of-foot tricks
and other high theatrics
and all without mistaking
any thing
for what it may not be
For he's the super realist
who must perforce perceive
taut truth
before the taking of each stance or step
in his supposed advance
toward that still higher perch
where Beauty stands and waits
with gravity
to start her death-defying leap
And he
a little charleychaplin man
who may or may not catch
her fair eternal form
spreadeagled in the empty air
of existence

------------

Read more about him

http://www.rooknet.com/beatpage/writers ... hetti.html

He's the founder of City Lights Bookstore, having the insight and entrepreneurial spirit to publish many of the beats.

[AQuestion]

rock on with your bad self

I dug the writing as well

I dig it, still

titles? well, um...erm.....how about "Happenstance in an airport" ?

or "Sudden movements alter course before the course of the flight"

"Essentials of a traveler" hey that's your name here too! sure you caught on to that sooner than i, lol

ok, I dunno... I'm not really feeling as though I'm much help to you where titles are concerned....

good luck in finding an appropriate one

[joel]

I'm not really a qualified critic, but for what I am I truly enjoyed this poem! Finding beauty in Heathrow and translating it like...wow.

I do have a techincal suggestion...
in this line:
"it was exactly like a bird extending it's wings ",
do you intend 'it's wings' or 'its wings'?

Whichever you intend, it was a beautiful image--almost a juxtaposition--in the piece. Also, I think this line would make an interesting title for the piece as a whole...a little flavor without the whole dessert. For what it's worth....