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utilities of space before the fall
Posted: September 19th, 2004, 7:14 pm
by sooZen
It is the flame that hardens metal
the fire that tempers glass
burns away all that is not essential
to ash
This pain in my heart is afire
gut wrenching pain burns
twists like a tornado
dances across my very soul
wicks of sentimentality lit
candles of prayers sent
smoke rises to the heavens
peace sweet peace
I yearn
awake, embolden, afire, I burn
stumbling from the ash of my own desire
ancient ruins, cities on fire, I burn
temper, temper, I burn
hardened, harder, I burn
melted like honey, I burn
don't come close for the flame is bright
I burn...
SooZen
9/19/2004
Posted: September 19th, 2004, 10:36 pm
by mnaz
SooZen...
I just want to let you know how much I liked this. You touched deep strata here. It is a great statement.... my first thought was of the phoenix.... but your focus is fixed on the sensations of the trial, the transition itself.... reality of hard struggle between the last form and the next... being in the midst of the fire, the pain. Thanks.
Posted: September 20th, 2004, 8:44 am
by judih
very powerful gut chant
to be read aloud in a voice that is deeper than the vocal chords' familiar octaves
judih
Posted: September 20th, 2004, 9:32 am
by Lightning Rod
sooz
there is something deeply fascinating and threatening and poetic
about molteness
I used to make jewelry. I did lost wax casting.
When I would throw a piece I would sometimes be hypnotized by the
molten gold or silver that I was heating in the crucible. It was glowing and dangerous as a woman's deepest parts. I always had the wild desire to put my finger or my tongue there in the liquid glowing gold.
heat.....
Posted: September 20th, 2004, 3:26 pm
by hester_prynne
this is hot, and delicious.
I really dig this piece sooz.
H
Posted: September 20th, 2004, 10:18 pm
by sooZen
thanks for all of your replies, they are appreciated. it has been a long time since I sat down and wrote a poem, this one came pouring out and it felt right.
SooZ
Posted: September 22nd, 2004, 7:42 am
by Toerag
As L'rod stated....there's is something mesmerizing about fire and molten material...and even more so when it's your soul that your fanning in front of the world....not all heartburn can be cured with Zantac, (or is that Xanax?)....and the side affects that they state at the end of the commercials give me indigestion too...this was a well thought out and written piece....
Posted: September 22nd, 2004, 10:51 am
by sooZen
Toerag (what's a toerag?) heh.
Thanks for replying. This was actually just a stream of consciousness without thinking anything out...it just came out and I am grateful for your kind reply in thinking it was "well thought out and written." My writing has always been a spontaneous affair for if I 'try' to write, I write badly. Hah! Sometimes it even rhymes, heh. I am a nut when it comes to spelling and a modicum of correct punctuation. [You may have noticed that I misuse the ellipsis but for a purpose (connecting the dots...)] That is the only editing I usually do, the rest stays as it flows.
SooZen
Posted: September 22nd, 2004, 5:14 pm
by WIREMAN
..sooooooooozzzzz.....I wired be .......co...burn......cool ......fire on the frozen cube ........catchin' thoughts as they melt away...................................el marko~wired~
Posted: September 22nd, 2004, 5:45 pm
by Doreen Peri
sooZ... i agree with all .... you burned those words onto the screen.. nice write!
(psssst.... a toerag is a mischievous imp, a motley scamp, a trickster, a despicable(?) jokester... i asked, too, when i first met him some years back but it became quite apparent soon enough ... heh

.... watch out!)