wiping

[joel]

Wordless and dynamic verse
wastes anorexic but so fluidly
when poured from height and depth and
width to
water, spelled rather than experienced; and
whatever experiential moment passed,
we lost it as our hands let go—<center>
wiping
vulgar feelings
from our touch; not teardrops,
not unconscious sweet remembrance,
but the foulest wasted tastes of loving:
gluttony’s but faithful outcome
less than honored, less than
lovely is our
wiping.</center>
Without transcendence or abstraction
weighs the sun’s bright invert shadow;
ways of bartering perspective
weak and
wily seduce me to
wonder lonesome thickets of poetic leaves,
wary every line leads anorexic false.

[iblieve]

My god how you weave those words together leading me into poetic heaven. You need to come to darc and check us out, we love new talented poets with a mind of their own just be warned, we break all the rules in the name of poetic license, lmao. "C"

http://akashanetweb.com/darc/index.php

Seriously though your muse is a mother fucker, I love it iblieve

[Doreen Peri]

love all the W's

joel, your artistry with words is deliberate and so surely i can see you care about technique, structure, metaphor, imagery... all the tools of the trade...

this piece is no exception...

i will come back to read again because i know there are layers i've missed on the first read...

"wary every line leads anorexic false" - nice!

"when poured from height and depth and
width to
water, spelled rather than experienced" - excellent!

"ways of bartering perspective
weak and
wily seduce me to
wonder lonesome thickets of poetic leaves" - really fine lines, joel... thank you!

[joel]

Thanks for the kind words.

I was just having fun combining forms...and thanks, Doreen, for the Rictameter. The first and last stanza are modified Pleiades (I found the form on some poety website I no longer can think of...but I believe the Pleiades was described as such:

1. titled poems (I think a one word title)
2. seven lines per poem (not including the title)
3. each of the seven lines begins with the same letter as the title.

Well, I thought they might be fun together. Rather than titling, I just used the first and last word of the Rictameter as the 'title'. Anyhow, I need a (more exciting) life (but I really don't believe that).

Again, thanks for the kind words.