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Sunday Rain
Posted: July 17th, 2005, 1:33 pm
by Artguy
The rain has come
grapevine leaves running drops of silver
Grey skies
Sunday lies sullen
Out my back window
Tomato plants slake
Long thirst
From heavy humid days
Front yard wakens to
Sunday rain
Curtain frames
The new life day
White flowers hang on
Angelic wings
Posted: July 17th, 2005, 4:07 pm
by Dave The Dov
No rain
to be seen
What was once green
is now brown
So instead of a smile
I now have a frown
that will be with me
for a while
_________________
Healthy Living Forum
Re: Sunday Rain
Posted: August 1st, 2005, 9:59 pm
by joel
The new life day
White flowers hang on
Angelic wings
I don't know why, but the flow of these words together strikes me as brilliant. Starting with the grey colors, I don't bleached-toothy white flowers, but wet little struggling flowers hanging on potted plants. Angelic tends to go the purity route in my head (I've never been much of the dark angel type), but this presents (in my reading) an 'angelic' who's purity is far from cotton candy trite. It seems to be struggling. Just the way I read the piece out loud, the flow of the piece seems defiant and bold in these last words.
ok--so I love this ending. I'll be quiet now.
OR--
(yes, I lied about the quiet thing. I like preview. I like edit.)
now I'm also seeing it as three separate thoughts:
1) the new life day
2) a pep talk to encourage the little white flowers (hang on!)
3) and then the angelic wings have to find some place to hover on their own.
i get all excited with multiple possibilities.