train

[Axanderdeath]

There is a sea of red leaves on the ground. I wade through them with a smoke. I am always smoking it is cool and everyone fucking knows it. I am going to the rock that we hang at and drink. I am thinking about not much more than the way that Trish's hair looks so vibrant and how I would love to touch her soft fucking skin and fucking the living daylights out of her. pull her pants down and peel them off her ankles pull my pants down around my knees and fuck her so that all can see my white bobbing ass!

The rock is covered with broken beer bottles it is the middle of the day and I have a bottle of JD and nothing else but what i wear which is a light coat and black jeans that are tight and not in fashion. I swill the JD and look at the rail road. A train is going by and I spit on the load of logs. And how much more purple can you fucking get I think. I hack some sludge from the back of my throat it is brown and white edges.

There is a sad sweet death feeling in the air that always gets me somewhere—forces introspection—I can't for the life of me touch what it is—youth? Some lost innocents that will never be found again but that I am always searching. I try to trade it in for love, or maybe that was the trade this untouchable youth for love—for girls and pain, and being a man. Hell I am 20 and still just doing the same old rail road drinking to find meaning in nothing!

I keep hope someone is going to come down the path—I keep thinking that someone one at that moment will be feeling the same way. I hope Trish. I know that she does not like me like that. She probably thinks I am a nerd or something. I throw a rock at the train—fuck her I am a MAN!!!! My feeble attempts oh god.

Streets seem frozen in time if it were not for the old purple hair women and ugly jawed 30 year olds walking around and I join them in there depressing dance of lonely Sunday. I am the only drunk one? Who knows? I do not care.

I pop in to a cafe that is at the top of the block and order a coffee. I am asked if I am so and so's friend and I am I am everybody's friend I am not myself something to be recognized I am a counterpart of—what should I say in response—hey you are a member of the human race. Oh what morbid bitter falling in to the frozen slack jawed masses of dumb down feeling—until you feel happy to be going home to watch lost on tv to find out if they are going to be found—you forget that you are lost and I forget that i know this and fall in to the trap set up by greedy monger assholes!

Trish will never come down that path for me—the woods are laden with many a mac—pop-culture will prevail over morbid half witted intellectualism—drunkenness bordering on suffering for art, but really art suffering form drunkenness—and she won't come down that path for me.

And goes by the train and leaves fly in the air with meaningless beauty!

[mnaz]

Cool.

I've done this scene, usually out in bum-fuck nowhere sagebrush hills, where I'm pretty sure that no one in their right mind would come down the path....

It ain't a bad way to go, sometimes.

[jimboloco]

really touching stuff jo jo

geting back to where you once belonged
before your ancestors were born
your origional face

i dig it mightily
if thirty year olds are ugly and jawed, mercy
what about old farts like me?


screw it

you started off with a scene, leaves,
and ended with a passing train
with all this really flowing stuff inbetween

hit it

[Axanderdeath]

really touching stuff jo jo

geting back to where you once belonmged
before your ancestors were born
your origional face

i dig it mightily
if thirty year olds are ugly and jawed, mercy
what about old farts like me?


screw it

you started off with a scene, leaves,
and ended with a passing train
with all this really flowing stuff inbetween

hit it

I should not be such an age-ist you are right--I really have been stupid with that in the past--I almost found the extremly bad spelling in your response funny too--but it still kind of pissed me off-----

but thanks both of you for reading

geoff

ps
I should really change that "screw it" thing...

[jimboloco]

i corrected one of my misspellings, geoff
better to be spontaneous
and thenreap the rewards later

i told a joke at work a couple of weeksago that pissed someone
off an i had to do to the principal's office
i did
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=6051

another time, in 1998 while a student at u south florida
i got an email sent out to all the students staff and faculty of the schools of medicine, public health and nursing. It was an invitation to an "Air Force social" oh yeah
I did an impromptu email in which i aksed,
"so you want to be a part of a mass murdering genocidal war machine" and sent it back "to all recipients" I got called up to see the dean, a lot of people were pissed, but this one prof in humanities and american studies got me an interview with the editor of the student newspaper and it got printed there in hard copy.

I plan to scan it sometime soon as I have an old copy.
will post.

honestly, i am not offended at all by what you said about anything it is your youthful perspective and a luxury you can well afford.

at work the other evening just before leaving, I patted the back of a lady who works at night, my hand went down her back and accidently down to the small of her back and just a bit lower than that. I was amazed at how perfect her curves went. oops an accident don't you know?

carry on!