can go home

[Axanderdeath]

Can go home

Moving back home
already broke my heart
on phone calls
to a girl back home
i told her I felt alone
she had to go
her boyfriend was home

glum
the car a Honda civic
I told them I quit drinking like
I had lost my balls
they all said good for you
“good for you”
I said

She is not answering calls
they never do at the 20th one
21st is never a charm
gotta see a phycologist
so they can here my shit
instead of me
bouncing it around in my own brain.

Heart break is boring and intense at the same time
debilitated
it is like hanging out with a rock
setting them all around you like a
forest man
with long curly hair
and sitting cross legged munching on trail mix...

Music on the blaster
and I get angry with the tune that
boast of sexual prowess

I walk in snow flurry's
and look up in the sky
and see the beauty in it
but this is not movie
and no girl in dark blue over coat
and prefect blue eyes
is coming along with a
son in desperate need of a father figure.

I check my emails
nothing
junk mail
the same newyork city poetry jams that
are sent each week
I dead pan
click off account

“I make you a good one”
the zealot vendor says
marinaded chicken
“it's good you see? For you.”
and I will miss Montreal zealot vendor.
He puts olives in special for me
bopping around to his dace infused
Arabic music.

“I have to go.”
“I know.”
why does there come a time in a mans life
where he has to go home
and find nothing but
the same thing he left
and he knew it the whole time
and whats in the cards
not that girl you just gave the
22nd unanswered phone call too.

The phone calls get to be playful
“you know if you let her alone she'll come to you.”
says the zealot vendor
he is now chopping the chicken
I speaking in to the phone for her answering machine
“I really do not want to seem like a stalker it was just I did not mean to say you were a bitch for not answering. It is just that I forgot to say that I have developed a new form of skiing, anyway I'll have to show it to you. Oh yea sorry about cal 12 through 15 as well I was only half right about several things in that.”
zealot vendor raps my sandwich up in
plastic
“any time. I make big one for you buddy.”
I give him a thumbs up.

I listen to bob Dylan
and the lights are out
sad eyed lady of the lowlands
on continues play
I do some crying
it is some what effective
aside from the fact I do not
feel sorry for my self.
The worse thing about it is
what the fuck do I need a girl for
why is love so great
what is the attraction to
doing what humans have been doing for ever
Sex-love
love wins
by a small margin
but wins.

Pulling my self out of the muck
i hope I have one of those
pained dead faces
girls like those
i think
i don't know what they like
and there goes the 24th call
“stop fucking calling you sycophant”
and that lovely ringing in my ear
I look at zealot vendor
“give me a lamb.”
“I make it special for you.”


Geoff Parsons

[stilltrucking]

Thanks Geoff
Keep on writing
please