Hollow

[~K]

All the words,
I've used to
describe
this experience,

fail.

For example:

Substance
is the drug
& the currency
of hand me
down Gods.

And as much sense
as that makes, it should
be followed up with,

I've loved you much
longer than I should.

But don't go now,
while tomorrows
shadow is still
crushing the horizon,

I bite the tongue, I thrust
inside your mouth.

I am about to make you

[Ann Bingham]

This speaks strongly. Very tight thoughts. the lsat one is exceptional. Open ended. Nice work.


love lots

[joel]

i think the fact that by the end of this, i wanna get made makes this something more than powerful and pathetic than I wish it were.

way to go. whoo-hoo!

[mousey1]

Oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhh ~K!

If you get my drift.

I loved this...I truly did...I truly do! Every word.

I too would like to get made!

[muted]

"I am about to make you"


`````````````````````
....hollow,
barren,
unrequited?

Do I not know
enough of
loss, lost?

existence is
reason enough
to mourn
love

you steal the
air, you force
me to breathe
an empty mockery

and I'm sustained

anger doesn’t buy
forgiveness
nor time

and avoidance
does not remove
this black comedy

give in?
give up?

I make myself

and in that,
I believe in You

[~K]

I am about to:
make you
come to
your senses slowly,
help you find
your clothes &
walk you
to the door.

I am about
to make you:
sorry/angry/hate me/
wish you never met me/
hollow/empty/
just like me,
missing something.

[tinkerjack]

wish you never met me/

Well I am sorry I have seen your face

The power of beauty
Is threatening to my vanity unless it masks a

hollow/empty/

Skull


this don't mean nothing, I just admire your work, looking for a bit of truth to give you in return.

nothing personal I am as unsubstantial as a hand me down god.

[abstroint]

I am about
to make you:
sorry/angry/hate me/
wish you never met me/
hollow/empty/
just like me,
missing something.

perfect example of pain draining fluidity becoming brittle enough to suck the life out of anyone who might get close to bitterness as water freezing into pure evil cubes soothing the burn of emptiness

[lenny]

I'm going to be the odd man out here and probably get drubbed for it but I didn't care for the arbirtrary line breaks. This work has a lot of power in it but I think the line breaks detract from that power. Having gone out on a limb to say that I must say that:

'But don't go now,
while tomorrow's
shadow is still
crushing the horizon.'

Was pure poetry and worth the whole read just for that one strophe. (Not to take anything away from the rest.) Thank you for sharing this.

lenny

[~K]

What can
I say?
I like to

stretch

my thoughts
to fit
the page.

Maybe this
is what
failure
looks like

all
spread
out

but if anything
matters
this is
something
that does not.