abbey-normal

[creativesoul]

the first time that my hormones got a hold on me i was in english class and James wilkening was sitting next to me, sticking his hand and finally a finer finger up my neon green skirt, past my elastic on my childhood panties, under the desk. I did not stop him, it felt kind of good, dangerous in a way.I often wonder if the teacher knew what was going on. We stole away to a garage near the jr high after school, and I was on fire. I was going to satisfy this urge that began to control me even then.
When I got home, my mother was laying on the living room floor reading magazines.I was pretty dirty and disheveled, and mom started talking about birth control. I told her that "I did not know when I was going to have sex, but I probably should get on it right away, because if I got going, I was not going to run home and ask my mother for birth control"
she laughed
In those days I wasnt really sure what was so funny, and I am surprised that she did not catch on to the "get going "thing.
I began to be rather mysterious in my speech and communication as well since I was not sure what made people laugh only that I was able to do it.
Recently I had been moving for quite a while, and finally was able to move into a fabulous house, the man that was helping me move out of the storage unit and I had become friendly while moving big bulky things we had been joking about everything under the sun alot, and there we were on the last load, hot and horney inside the storage unit with the muggy Portland air swarming around us.
I told him to get on his knees and "do me" right here.
he did and I laid back on the only pillow in the unit on a table.
Something huge happened inside me, as I traveled all the way back to my sweet lil virgin face to now, exploding all over the face of a man I barely knew. I flipped around to tie off any possible intimacy and proceeded to orgasim over and over, we had to be quiet, as the door was open and there was a fat woman accross the way putzing around with her stuff.You could hear the buzz of the cars and her silver ware counting or rattling, whatever she was doing was not very much fun.
The man in the storage unit has become a very close friend, he has big plans for us. I am a pessimist when it comes to love, and think that sooner or later there will come a time when the effort to stay together will conflict with real life. Walking around with my thoughts of meeting him for lunch conjours up the smell of spun sugar, and confection. Cotton candy at the carnival, rides and hot dogs mustard and elephant ears sprinkled with cinnamon. Makes me want to eat him up.Most of the time, he has no objections, both for giving and recieving. That is the kind of man I want.
I am never sure that what I want is what I need. I tend to question everything.
I was just in a class where everyone seemed more talented than I, but It is friday, and the model had no upper lip, and a strange nose. I have wanted to write for days, but I am looking at the Masters in Fine arts program in hopes that I can squeeze talent out of my skin like a tube of tooth paste, if I keep at it. My friend in the storage unit has offered to model for me, naked.I prefer that to a clothed model, that is always falling asleep.
In everything that I read about love, and relationships it always says that there are 30 ways to talk about our one english word "love".
I do not know what it is, really, only that when you truly connect with someone it feels like home.I like being told what a person is going to do to me, and then waiting, and likewise I like the dialoge myself, what I am going to do to you...
I have had alot of people in traditional relationships dictate to me what the rules are in love and play. Most of them are in relationships that seem like playing card games, or getting drunk and playing bad gituar is more of what they do, then love and play. I love Art, and I love being creative. I just cannot get it with the card game thingor the sloppiness of the bar scene.
I hate fat, and sitting around. I do not think it is fun to sit longer than lets say 45 minutes, I like my body to humm and purr.electricity is a beautiful thing. The heart pumps the blood around and around, and the sweat glands drip fluids that need to come out .If you are just sitting, then fat will turn to solid.
I have tried to coomunicate this to people that sit, but they will not change, and i have moved on to a place where I am around people that like to move around, as I mentioned earlier.I know that movement can be pleasurable.
I know there are alot of things that I could be worried about but I am not, not today.I could do alot of different things , and it is a beautiful day in Portland Oregon, so why not take a chance and be abbey-normal. try something that you thought was for other people, that had whatever judgement placed on them perhaps by someone other than you, be the happy person in your life!

[mousey1]

Alrighty then...you gave abbey-normal some creativesoul appeal.

This was a pleasant read, a pleasant read indeed.

I like my body to hum and purr as well...

Here's to all the humming and purring in life that we can stand and then some.

Great!

[stilltrucking]

wHAT A WORLD CREATIVE

We leave in times of such moral clarity

We impeach one president for a blow job

And we bow down to Bush on Sundays for being a murderous tool.

My hormones were disconnected from my thought, or so I thought My tented pant*s in junior high, I never assoiciated my boner with her smile. I really had no idea what the hell was happenign to me. the worst time was the day I forgot to put underwear on.

I was a very precocious child
Weird in the 50's the generation of Sylvia Plath and her mother and.
So much double think, double talk, double standards, still bad I know, but than it was life or death, sanity or insanity. Too many martyrs.

That was hot stuff creative I will have to reread it again, I might take myself out to dinner tonight.

Yeah it blows my mind how "innocent" I was. Still stupid after all these years. All I want is mysteryand friendship.

*where the heck is benny

[creativesoul]

thank you- i have not actully met a 'normal ' person yet- the only oe that comes close is this girl that dances with bees- never smoked a joint had a glass a wine - nothing- just became a straight up artist right away-
do not pass go- collect 200$ sounds good to me
no monopoly on happiness