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playing with presentation

Posted: May 18th, 2006, 5:32 pm
by joel
by rhyme

But honest love complete
you promised, sated and replete,
I want
(pursue the Fuchs, o classic hunt)—
have I desire
or desperation, love or ire?


by meter

But honest love complete you promised,
sated and replete, I want (pursue
the Fuchs, o classic hunt)— have I des-
ire or desperation, love or ire?

Posted: May 18th, 2006, 7:35 pm
by Ann Bingham
not sure the comment you are looking for so forgive me when I say I think the rhyme presentation works better. The meter for me did not flow as well as did the rhyme. Just me and I hope this is what you were looking for. Might I add that I liked the last line of the second presentation.

I like when a work shows contrasts. Love/hate, a fulfilment yet and emptiness left behind. Yes must say I like this.


love lots

Posted: May 18th, 2006, 9:31 pm
by joel
Ann Bingham wrote:not sure the comment you are looking for ... Might I add that I liked the last line of the second presentation.
I don't know either, but thanks for your words/thoughts!

...and the last line of the second presentation is why I like them next to each other...I don't know if one without the other would be as much fun as a little ire in the morning and a little ire at night. :wink: