Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

i look at his face
i see so much
i hear the love
i see the pain in his heart
i want to make it all better
like some kind of mommy
an angel
someone he could turn to
i want to share everything with him
i want to marry him
i feel insane
women like me are better suited to paint brushes and key boards that are hooked up to internet service
women like me that have looked for their friend forever
do not really believe: he exists sarcasim awaits like a theif in the night
waiting to steal any joy or pleasure
i might feel when i love again
i tend to think that maybe it is a lie
that i am telling myself
so that the sex will be better
because just sex isnt really enough now is it?
if it were then you would not see all these really fat people stuffing thier faces with crap
trying to fill some empty place that is never satisfied
stomach muscles that used to flaunt movement and stretch and flex
now lazily watch the partner
sometimes the opponent
like a lizard on a rock
watching with stillness your every move
i see the hum drum of the older people in the airports
the bus terminals
i dread the entire episode
of tolerance
whatever would it be like to be facinated with your lovers movements
even if in fact someone else is as well maybe at the same time
to celebrate that the one i love is capable of loving many
not behind my back like cheating
but with me
together
seems strange
all those traditionalists
think that they have got the whole deal sealed
cannot be honorable and love more than one they say
in the literature of the love stories
all the most famous loved ones are killing themselves
or suffering long distances between them
and what of total closeness i ask this late evening
with no ale no wine to intoxicate my thinking?
perhaps all those old buggars were hiding a more truthful story of love?
givng is sometimes seen as allowing for the one you love to be as happy as possible
i wonder
today we looked over at a couple driving a car near us, and i said"my fear is to be like them"
he said"you can feel the sexual frustration coming off the car"
i laughed
but is it really funny?

i dont think so
there is a ghost that lives here with me
he is my dead lover
he was everything to me
he makes my computers act wierd
he makes my cd player not play
so that i will pay attention to what i am supposed to see
he wants me to paint
he wants me to sing
he wants me to pray
i dont ever really understand what he wants
but in my heart of hearts
i know he loves me and wants to protect me
this time he is pushing me towards this beautiful man with the deep sad eyes of a deer
caught in the headlights
of time
and i reach accorss the galaxy
and touch his heart and i am plunged into a lifetime of giving from the roots of the trees
i drink of his moisture
i relax in his tune
flute music comes from my heart
and i am loony swooning
and madly captivated
fucking in love
yep
the walls have come down
i tell him the truth
but i havent given all the way in
yet
why?
because the dust is just settling from the last move to change
feels so endless
a pace that feels like a mad rush to the
salacious
equivalent tease
of what is to come
there is no stopping any of this
fear
will have none of this happiness
the severe gaze of wisdom will have a conversation
with God as we cannot possibly understand
because we are mundane and petty
and incapable of infinite understanding
so they they say
they are the ones that said it
the nameless boohoos that say shit that attempt to control our beahvior
hedonistic as we may be
it cannot be controled
passion is like fire
and as long as there is fuel
long kisses and heroic behavior
love will always win

"i hear the love
i see the pain in his heart''....

Giant words.

seems like i've been there.

(thanks).