Contrition asked for honesty and I
Posted: November 17th, 2006, 7:27 am
Contrition asked for honesty and I
responded: yes, I am afraid. I fear
two qualms of vanity: the first, that I
am not as uninvited as believed,
and hence I claim humility for pride—
the second, that my loneliness is not
because of your disgust for me, but of
my judgment: you are worthy not my love.
By either fear am I alone. My lot,
my fault— my guilt— my grievous end. Aside
from you, I still must claim myself; relieved
from you, I still am me— alone and by
myself and mortified. Yet hope is here,
that scared to death by truth is not to die.
responded: yes, I am afraid. I fear
two qualms of vanity: the first, that I
am not as uninvited as believed,
and hence I claim humility for pride—
the second, that my loneliness is not
because of your disgust for me, but of
my judgment: you are worthy not my love.
By either fear am I alone. My lot,
my fault— my guilt— my grievous end. Aside
from you, I still must claim myself; relieved
from you, I still am me— alone and by
myself and mortified. Yet hope is here,
that scared to death by truth is not to die.