Undisciplined, if I appear to you

[joel]

Undisciplined, if I appear to you,
or inexcusable, forgivable
I nonetheless do hope to be because
to fail you—more to be dismissed—would pause
my heart’s percussive drill, my exercise
of holy adoration, my resolve
to love you. Oh, to truly love you. This
my split infinity, my scattered bliss:
take all and order, physics that revolve
realities by knowledge, and surprise
them stunningly— Those tiny classes, an
array of wisdom, insufficient laws
and metaphors for you— I live with full
request for grace, alone with love for you.

[stilltrucking]

Beautiful

just beautiful

[Doreen Peri]

It is really very lovely!

It reminds me of an old Dick Van Dyke episode. Laura (Dick Van Dyke's wife played by Mary Tyler Moore) had found a box of poetry written by a young man she was in love with when she was in college. The poetry was stunningly beautiful love poetry. She had kept it hidden in a shoe box for years because she still held a bit of a flame for the young man and she treasured the love poetry he had written her. She was curious and wanted to find him to find out how he was doing, whether he had married, etc. So, she looked for him and found him and (if I remember this episode correctly) she invited him to the house.

When he arrived at the house, she found him just as handsome as he was years before! She asked if he was married and he said no, he had never married. She wore her heart on her sleeve. She was so surprised to hear this! Comedy scenes continued the story where she and her neighbor/friend discussed with each other why they thought he didn't marry. Laura, of course, decided that it was because he had held a torch for her for all those years and no other woman could fill that void. Her friend, Millie (if I remember correctly) guessed that maybe he was gay. These conversations were interrupted by Rob (Laura's husband, Dick Van Dyke) coming home from work.

At the end of the episode, Laura confronts her beau and asks him why he never married, clearly expecting to hear from him, "I still love you Laura! I always will!" and worried about the dilemma this would put her in, being married yet still holding a flame for him from the past.

Instead, he told her that he was a priest.

Hahahahaha! The poetry she thought was written for her was actually love poetry written to God!

Well, ya had to be there, I guess. It was pretty funny and very sentimental at the same time.

How did I remember this episode? I donno. Just one of my favorite classic TV shows. Why does your poem remind me of this? I donno. Just sounds like a spiritual devotion, that's all.

It is truly very lovely! As you know, I've been a fan of your writing for a long time.

[joel]

thank you both...

and oh, do i have a story for you sometime....

i had to laugh at your response, Doreen...since i'm sitting here at seminary, bitter that everyone i fall for ditches me and marries someone else, thinking i ought to just marry God like some medieval mystic nun, swtiching around the "yous" in my writing from one person to another to another more divine...

nail on the head. i'll have to look that episode up.

[Doreen Peri]

I googled it..

Found lotsa links including this one (not much info here, tho)
http://www.tvacres.com/books_letters_laura.htm

The name of the episode was
The Life and Love of Joe Coogan (1964)

Oh and don't worry... there's definitely a lady out there for ya... how do I know this? God told me. just not the right time yet.

[Jenni Mansfield Peal]

What a great thread - started with a beautiful poem.
It all reminds me of a Bruce Cockburn song I love:

Laughter (Bruce Cockburn, 1978, "Further Adventures Of")

I laugh for the way my life has gone
I laugh for the love of a friend
I laugh for the fools in the eyes of the world
a Love that will never end -

Ha-Ha! Whoa - oh! Ha!

Let's hear a laugh for the man of the world
who things he can make things work
tried to build a New Jerusalem
and ended up with New York -

Ha-Ha! Whoa - ho! Ha!

I laugh for the sun red falling
through the thermal inversion haze
I laugh for the nuclear good-time boys
numbering all our days -

Ha-Ha! Whoa - ho! Ha!

I laugh for the newsprint nightmare
a world that never was
where the questions are all "why?"
and the answers are all "because" -

Ha-Ha! Whoa - ho! Ha!

I laugh for the dogs barking at our heels
they don't know where we've been
I laugh for the dirty windowpane
hiding the love within -

Ha-Ha! Whoa - ho! Ha!

Tapping my feet to an ancient tune
I laugh for the time gone by
I laugh for me and Kitty in the delivery room
Waiting for the child's first cry -

Ha-Ha! Whoa - ho! Ha!