Page 1 of 1

George Bush and The Dalai Lama --Odd Couple

Posted: October 16th, 2007, 9:57 pm
by Lightning Rod

George Bush and The Dalai Lama --Odd Couple
for release 09-16-07
Washington DC

When I learned that the Dalai Lama was going to meet with President Bush I had to pause and rub my temples. It's not that I feared what the meeting would do to China-US relations, I just wondered: What could these two men possibly have to talk about? If ever I could be a fly on the wall and listen to the conversation going on in a room it would be this one.

OK, my imagination is running wild. Maybe it would go something like this:

Secretary: Mr. President, The Dalai Lama.

Bush: Pleased to meetcha Mr. Lama. Can I call you Dolly?

DL: Yes, Mr. President you can call me anything you wish, a blade of grass, a breath of wind.

Bush: Well, you can call me George or just W or ....hehe....Mr. Decider. Since we are both spiritual leaders I figger we ought to be on familiar terms.

DL: I agree, Mr. President. You can call me Spike. Sting is already taken.

Bush: Ok Spike. I wanna talk a little know... enlightenment. Few years ago I was talkin' to Billy Graham. You know the reverend?

DL: Yes, we correspond.

Bush: Well, he turned my life around. I was in Kinnebunkport one summer and I was about to snort this big line of cocaine off of the bathroom counter when Dr. Graham came in to use the potty. His coat brushed the line of cocaine down the sink. And from that moment, Spike, I was a new man. Reborn. I knew I was to be the leader of the free world and to establish a new order of democracy and good ole Southern Christianity and capitalist freedom all over the world.

DL: Billy never told me that story. However, I am glad that you experienced a
moment of enlightenment. The problem with enlightenment is that you can also be mis-enlighted.

Bush: Boy, tell me about it. The CIA said that Saddam was up to his neck in yellow cake and that he was gonna sneak terrorists disguised as dope smugglers into our country and that Al Queada was taking jacuzzis with his harem. What was I to think? I had to invade. So, we had to cook the enlightenment a little bit. 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' had such a mantric ring to it. It became our chant. It was strong as the OM, Spike.

DL: Mr. President, can we talk about the occupation of my country by the Chinese?

Bush: Well, Spike, my CIA, which I like to call my Cosmic Inlightenment Agency, has told me that your country is occupied by the Chinese because of the lead. Let's face it, Tibet is just a bunch of mountains and snow. But the Chinese are using the lead in them thar hills to spike our Barbie dolls so that the next generation of Americans will all be lead poisoned retards. I know what this feels like. When I was a boy in West Texas I used to chew on my GI Joe.

DL: Yes, I had a statue of the Buddha to which I was very attached. It was made of hashish and opium. You have a great responsibility, Mr. President. I pray that you carry it out with faith and wisdom.

Bush: Yesh, I think I have faith and wishdom. I watch Joel Osteen on TV every Sunday, and Dr. Phil. My faith centers me. I always know the right thing to do. That's why they call me The Decider....heheh.....

DL: Enlightenment can be a simple as opening one's eyes.

Bush: Exactly, Spike. We should open our eyes to every telephone conversation and every e-mail and every text message. I have a whole agency for this called the NSA.

DL: I can't afford agencies, Mr. President. I am a government in exile.

Bush: Well don't feel lonely, Spike, I'm about to join you.

And that's the news from The Poet's Fly.

Day after day,
Alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still,
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool,

And nobody seems to like him
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,
But the fool on the hill
Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning 'round.

Posted: October 16th, 2007, 11:49 pm
by stilltrucking
Since we are both spiritual leaders I figger we ought to be on familiar terms.


lost in quantum theology these days
they say a man's reach should exceed his grasp
grasping for a secular mysticism
they say DL has mucho spiritual vibration
will bush become entangled up
I suppose I could hope so

good eye clay

Posted: October 17th, 2007, 10:54 am
the oddest of couplings.......thanx for the turn on LRod.....losing my religion...

Posted: October 17th, 2007, 12:50 pm
by jimboloco
ah yes, about those helicopter gunships that the us air farce ferried into Lhasa airport, that were used to transport prisoners, eh, well, i yam glad that i got outa th farce

the Dalai Lhama has this little routine that he goes thru before he does things
He sets his intent

i think that Bush Jr is too dense to absorb any vibes from this guy
but great satire, great parody
sometimes i think that my reach has exceeded my grasp
everyday infact
trying to catch up with my self
not an absolute necessity
just a general ambition

Posted: October 17th, 2007, 1:10 pm
by stilltrucking
da mon say
religion like medicine
no pain
no need medicine
same religion
no pain no need religion
yeah I gave my religion up too
but dem old ancestors and dem quakers
I keep the faith the best I can
just like reverend al
I suppose
I suppose he is too dense
but where there is life
their is hope
or is bud light

good eye

that bit about intent
just what I am thinking
good for georgie to meet real superman
maybe plant a seed of doubt
see if maybe abraham's god has lied to him again

where is Gog ad Magog when we need dem.

as long as I am into fantascy I would like to see them become pals,
hang out together
I don't think if could hurt
just call me "polly anna cow girl"
what's the worse that could happen?
The Dalai Lama turns into a neo-con?

Posted: October 17th, 2007, 1:19 pm
by Doreen Peri
funny stuff! yesh, it is ;)

Posted: October 17th, 2007, 1:36 pm
by Arcadia
"One, I admire the Dalai Lama a lot; two, I support religious freedom, he supports religious freedom," Bush said.


very funny!!!!!!!
(your writing)

7th son of the Lama, a big hitter this guy...

Posted: October 17th, 2007, 5:55 pm
by Fred Garza
Bush said to the Lama, "Hey Lama, how about a little somethin' for the effort?" The Lama said to Bush, "On your deathbed, you will receive total enlightenment"... and Bush said, "So I've got that goin' for me...which is nice!"

Sorry guys, Caddyshack is still my favorite movie! But I think Bush makes a good "Carl Spackler"!

Posted: October 18th, 2007, 2:44 am
by mnaz


Posted: October 19th, 2007, 12:50 am
by stilltrucking

I got stoned and I missed it
thought it was a typo
sorry clay
sometimes I read as bad as I type
thanks mnaz

Posted: October 28th, 2007, 4:33 pm
by jimboloco
In the golf romp Caddyshack, groundskeeper Carl Spackler (played by Bill Murray) suggests hamstringing the bad guy of the film:

“ What you've got to do is cut the hamstring on the back of his leg right at the bottom. He'll never play golf again, because his weight displacement goes back, all his weight is on his right foot, and he'll push everything off to the right. He'll never come through on anything. He'll quit the game.
duh, I don't think that Dumbya is funnay atolll
he is tragically abdurd

but i agree that on my dearthbed
i will be made none with neverything
may as well make a joyous noise whilst i yam alive
and be some with something!
somebody with something to say
somebody with a mind to be present
for a little bit

Posted: November 8th, 2007, 10:44 am
by Zlatko Waterman
A fine little skit, LR.

Speaking of Enlightenment:

There's a videotape of Cheney falling asleep during an important meeting having to do with Pakistan and the future of planet Earth-- i.e. will the ( nuke-armed) Pakistanis use nukes to sort out their difficulties between civilian (courts) and military authorities?

Last year I read William Shirer's biography of Gandhi. The formation of Pakistan was, of course, discussed. A nation of 165 million people ( half the size of the U.S.) is not the same as crushing poor Iraq under the iron heel of the Stars and Stripes.

We bought Musharraf ( like we bought Saddam in the Eighties, and Noreiga, Sukarno, Marcos, the Pahlavis etc. etc. in the recent past . . .) and now that he's broken, we still have to take him home and coo to him.

Eliot Richardson and his resignation seem nostalgically ethical and admirable in the memory.


When a country can't even get its own attorney general right, and has the complicity of "the loyal opposition" in replacing a blatantly crooked man with a potentially crooked one, who works for enlightenment any more?

Edward Kennedy ( as he cast a "NO" vote on confirmation) gave the most enlightened ( and honest) commentary on the new AG I have heard in many a moon. It was also a profound, seven-minute comment on Bushko and the whole ugly mess. If you can grab a recording of his glorious seven minutes and listen to it, somewhere on the Net, do so.

And Sen. John Edwards finally says he will end the war. Someone to vote for?

I'm putting my Adlai Stevenson button back on this election season. I still have it.

Good column-- you haven't lost your twinkle, LR, or your wit.

CADDYSHACK is a good film, but my favorite movie along that line is WAG THE DOG.


Posted: November 8th, 2007, 12:57 pm
by Lightning Rod
Z-ko, it's story time:

In the late sixties when was living in Denton being a student and an entrepreneur in the delicacies and contrabands of the underground, I knew Elliot Richardson's daughter. She was stashed away in Denton going to school. Her father had just become AG at that time. We didn't know who he was particularly.

His daughter was the girlfriend of one of my business partners. One day the cops swarmed in to their house and found about a hundred pounds of pot. Everybody in the house was arrested including the AG's daughter. They stayed in jail a few hours and then suddenly the whole thing disappeared. No hundred pounds, no bust, no charges. Poof!

I guess it's all according to who you know.

Posted: November 9th, 2007, 12:42 pm
by jimboloco
I dig the way these little snippets keep popping up!
Stay well, amigas.