The Man Who Would Be King
for release 02-01-06
Washington D.C.
We don't do royalty in America. At least we say we don't.
When George Washington refused to accept a kingly crown, it set the sterling example for our citizen democracy. He saw that it was not the President's duty to rule the people; it was his duty to respond to the will of the people. He saw himself as a soldier and a surveyor and a gentleman farmer, not a king.
The current George doesn't seem to share this insight. He thinks he's a king. Well, why wouldn't he? His father was president and Gdub became president by means of ancestral ascention He has been led through a Potemkin village for the past five years. All of his speaking engagements are before screened audiences. The unwashed are at a safe distance and behind chain-link fences. His courtesans prepare every event and photo in advance so that His Majesty can be shielded from any embarrassment or dissent.
Bush would have you believe that the law is whatever he says it is and that he is going to fearlessly protect his subjects, even if he has to kill them or spy on them to do it. That's the stuff kings are made of.
At the first of every year, even though we are not an aristocracy in name, we have three events that certainly suggest that we do royalty in America more than we care to admit. I'm talking about the Academy Awards, the Super Bowl and the State of the Union Address.
Empires thrive on ceremony. They require spectacle and pomp and circumstance.
Our American aristocracy can be seen at any of the aforementioned events. At the Academy Awards we roll out the red carpet and worship fashion and fame and beauty. At the Super Bowl we revere athletic prowess and fame and beauty. At the State of the Union we bow down to political power and influence. It's all grand theater. And we as Americans thrive on it. We love ceremony. In our secret heart of hearts we want a king and a queen and royalty. Is there any difference between the Presidential Medal of Honor and a knighthood?
Last night's State of the Union Address was a singular bore. But then, I've fallen asleep while watching many a Super Bowl or Academy Award ceremony too. Sometimes it just gets to be all too predictable. It's more ritualized than Greek drama. "Mr. Speaker, the President of the United States," says the Sergeant-at-Arms. And all the kings men are wearing striped ties and the lady pols are dressed in red. That's why Cindy Sheehan got thrown out--she wasn't wearing a red dress.
It was a kingly speech, filled with applause lines and platitudes and generalizations. It was amusing to watch the Republican side of the aisle stand up dutifully and clap after every sentence. They should have had flip-cards or done the Wave. That was probably the most exercise that they have had since the last time one of their lobbyists took them to Scotland to play golf.
In America we have lost the ability to distinguish between our political leaders and our athletes and our movie stars. Witness Ronald Reagan's presidency or Jesse Ventura and Arnold's governorships. Texans know about Pappy O'Daniel.
The Poet's Eye watched American Idol during the hour preceding the State of the Union Speech and found American Idol much more edifying. It's another ritual, but at least it's fun.
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
--Lion King
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