Kinky For Governor
for release 05-17-06
Washington D.C.
After an un-illustrious career as a bad student, a deserting National Guardsman and a failed oil-man, I thought that George W. Bush had finally reached his level of incompetency when Daddy Bush and his buddies installed Georgie as owner of the Texas Rangers. I figured that he could putter around from the locker-room to the dugout and not do too much harm unless he traded Nolan Ryan.
Then he met Karl Rove and went into the family business, politics. Karl must have figured that Georgie was perfect merchandise--he was the grandson of a senator, the son of a president, the owner of a sports team and didn't have a political thought in his head. Perfect. Tabula Rosa. It must have been enough to make an aspiring Svengali cream in his jeans.
So Georgie (and Karl) ran for governor.
In case you are not familiar with Texas politics, the governor of Texas has only slightly more power than a dogcatcher and certainly not as much power as the owner of the Texas Rangers. So when Bush, the playboy with a silver spoon up his nose ran for governor, it didn't distress me. At least he wasn't running for the Texas Railroad Commission, which has much more power over the lives of our citizens than the governor. I wasn't terribly impressed when Gdub won. I knew he had the money behind him. What amused me was that he used the office to propel himself into the presidency. That's sort of like using a resume' that describes your experience driving a Corvair as qualification to be CEO of GM.
Let me repeat. The governorship of Texas is largely a ceremonial position. It's a bully pulpit with very little real power. Texas needs a good MC. That's why I'm going to support Kinky Freidman in the upcoming governor's race. Sure, he's a country music singing Jew Boy from Chicago and has about as much chance of getting elected as a skunk has of winning a cat show, but stranger things have happened.
Another country singer, W. Lee (Pappy) O'Daniel was elected governor of Texas in 1938 and both Pa and Ma Ferguson were elected. Other states have made unlikely choices. I'm thinking of Ronald Reagan and Jesse Ventura and of course there is the Governator, so the prospect of Kinky as governor is not so far-fetched. And as George Bush has proven, in America anybody can become president, even the governor of Texas.
Now comes Kinky Friedman, a left field candidate with either proto or neo-populist positions and some down-home swagger and he has the one thing that Texans love--personality. Kinky has that populist country music thing going on and also there is the cigar. It gives him sort of a revolutionary cachet. It brings Fidel and Che to mind. I love this guy.
I admit that I have ulterior motives. I've met Kinky a couple of times. He's not a bosom buddy, but we are in the same business (entertainment) and he used to date my ex-wife's best friend. I bent an elbow with him at the Stoneleigh P in Dallas. I figure I'm in line for some political favors. One of the few powers that the governor of Texas has is the power of pardon. I have several outstanding traffic tickets and some other litter to clean up with the State, so I imagine that the twenty bucks that I'm about to contribute to his campaign will buy me some influence. What do you think?
The Poet's Eye sees that Karl Rove might be looking for a job soon. Maybe he could take over Kinky's campaign.
You told me you were born so much higher than life,
But I've seen the faded pictures of your children and your wife.
Now they're fumbling through your wallet and they're trying to find your name,
It's almost like they raise the price of fame.
And everything's been sold American,
No place to go and brother, no place to stay.
Everyone's been sold American
Just let that golden Greyhound roll your soul away.
--Kinky Friedman
