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The Six Stooges Meet the US Government
for release 05-09-07
Washington DC
by Lighting Rod
We can breathe easy again. Our country has been saved. Our ever vigilant Dept. of Homeland Security has foiled another evil plot to kill US soldiers. Don't you feel safer already?
According to the government, a cab-driver and three roofers and two store clerks were going to wage jihad against the entire United States of America by invading Fort Dix in New Jersey which is base to 90,000 trained soldiers. It's not a high school. What's wrong with this picture? Does the term Three Stooges come to mind?
In a show of strength, authorities this week arrested Mohamad Ibrahim Shnewer, Dritan Duka, Shain Duka, Eljvir Duka, Serdar Tatar, and Agron Abdullahu, all Muslims in their twenties. These terrorist masterminds were so brilliant and organized and well financed that they made a tape of themselves shooting guns on a gun-range and dancing the jihad dance. Then they took the tape to their local video store to have it digitalized so they could share it with their friends and family on the internet. But we can be assured that our tax dollars are at work and we have been saved from this evil plot to destroy our way of life. They were planning to attack Fort Dix, after all. But after spending months and many of your dollars to infiltrate this den of sinister plotters, the government has saved us again from Muslim cab-drivers and roofers and store clerks.
The "unsung hero" of the case, according to FBI agent J.P. Weis was the clerk in the video store who was making the digital copy of the tape and became alarmed at the terrorist pantomime. This harkens me back to the numerous cases in the last century where some clerk at a photo processing shop sees family photos of kids naked in a bathtub and calls Child Protective Services and the FBI and somebody gets arrested for child porn.
But it's good to know that we have highly paid people looking out for our security and safety. According to authorities one of the plotters was also a dangerous expert in pizza delivery and had gathered valuable intelligence about the geography of Fort Dix because he had cased the joint while making deliveries to the base from his dad's pizzaria. These are the types of agents that we really need to be aware of. How much does your pizza delivery boy know about what goes on inside your house? Don't even think about ordering Chinese food. They have spies everywhere.
"Fort Dix! Slowly I turned ... step by step ... inch by
inch ..."
Joey Faye, as done by The Three Stooges, adapted by Lrod
