i am an arbitrary click of a mouse
fingers typing
lining up thies words across a white field
black foot prints on virgin snow
then an arbitary click of a mouse
all the pixels vanish and
and scatter.
carbon based life forms to silicon
a brief extenstion of my life
longevity has its blessings St Martin the king said
lord knows I have had time enough
I am only a child, an ignorant, innocent, trusting, greedy for more life child
___________________
this was a writting assignment at VU.org about five years ago, I was supposed to write 250 words about myself from the point of view of the opposite gender, I wimped out just could not put myself in her black dress that day in that clinic in DC back in 1974.
...........
I am a two-fold continuous multiplicity in your field of visual sensation.. I am these photons bouncing off this screen onto your retina. I am the square root of negative one. I am a stranger to myself.. I am something that exists for a time in this best of all spatio-temporal worlds, and then will not exist. I am a compulsive scribbler. I am a language freak.
I am still trucking. I am trying to learn how to drive on this virtual highway. I am smiling Jacky, a knight of the highway, and a sailor on a concrete sea. I am a guy in a story about adultery, acid, and abortion and I am running away from home to join the circus. I have found true love, and fled from it . I am a virgin. I am crazy. I am a truck.
I am ridiculous, and this is a farce. Every thing happens twice once as tragedy and again as farce. I am trying to write 250 words here without embarrassing myself to death. I am not sure what kind of writing course I have signed up for here. Am I being too arty farty . Is this the wrong place to do spontaneous prose. St Jack would probably be doing spontaneous HTML by now
This was a assignment, for a writing class at vu.org
As I remember I did not follow instructions for the assignment. I was supposed to write about myself as if I was of the opposite gender. I tried to imagine myself going into that clinic for an abortion. The full weight of what I was responsible for did not come down until that day on Cape Cod when I first read St Anne of Sexton's The Jesus Papers.
Its funny what goes through one's mind at traumatic moments in life. The most mundane stuff, TV shows, dialogue from trash novels. I was thinking about a Novel, The End of The Road, What would I say if they asked me who I am?
............................................
Jesus Suckles
Mary, your great
white apples make me glad.
I feel your heart work its
machine and I doze like a fly.
I cough like a bird on its worm.
I’m a jelly-baby and you’re my wife.
You’re a rock and I the fringy algae.
You’re a lily and I’m the bee that gets inside.
I close my eyes and suck you in like a fire.
I grow. I grow. I’m fattening out.
I’m a kid in a rowboat and you’re the sea,
the salt, you’re every fish of importance.
No. No.
All lies.
I am small
and you hold me.
You give me milk
and we are the same
and I am glad.
No. No.
All lies.
I am a truck. I run everything.
I own you.