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Attraction sans agenda.....
Posted: January 9th, 2006, 5:13 pm
by hester_prynne
Is this possible?
Is an attraction without an agenda a mystical thing?
Or is that an agenda in itself?....
H

Posted: January 9th, 2006, 6:28 pm
by mousey1
Might I ask for a few more details and a little more clarification before I delve into this topic. Some specifics would be handy dandy.
Posted: January 9th, 2006, 6:31 pm
by mousey1
I only ask because I don't usually have an agenda, ever. And what you may or may not be referring to sounds like a simple affair of the heart which I suppose is a very natural and yes probably oh-so-mystical thing with nary an agenda in the lot. Unless one is a skeevy scheming scheister shit-head, then there's probably an agenda. I don't know why I'm commenting, I still don't have enough information!

Posted: January 9th, 2006, 6:35 pm
by mousey1
Is someone attracted to you and you doubt their intent? All this guesswork is beginning to infuriate me!

(heh heh, I only play)
Posted: January 9th, 2006, 7:03 pm
by hester_prynne
well, kinda.
There was this guy who seemed to have this sort of attraction for me last month and to my surprize all I felt was repulsion.
Alot of my "friends" were encouraging me to investigate this, as they think I am constantly in sorrow because I live alone with my daughter and no man around. I can't seem to get it through their heads that I LIKE living alone, sans a bad relationship, like most of them have. Heh.
Anyway, he flew in all the way from N. Dakota to be here in Astoria during my New Year's gig. He wrote me emails all month prior, professing "a kindred spirit attraction, that he must pursue," despite my rather rude retorts of "fuck off", or "your neck is too fat".
There he was on New Year's, seated at a table right in front of the stand where i was to be singing, with a place set for me to join him during the breaks. (bleah, puke)
I realized later that night, that his attraction to me was more about getting on the microphone and singing himself! His ego was one of the largest i've ever run into! A published la de da historian who sings jazz. Give me a fucking break.
When I finally whiffed out his "agenda" which had been repulsing me intuitively, I offered him the mic and he made a fool of himself, much to my satisfaction.
I've always liked believing that there really is such a thing as being attracted to a person for no reason except for that. But I'm not so sure I believe that anymore, although I would like to.
So I was asking for other's opinions on the subject.
Hope that gives you some info...
Thanks for your interest mousey dear....
H

Posted: January 10th, 2006, 11:57 am
by tinkerjack
Is an attraction without an agenda a mystical thing?
Or is that an agenda in itself?....
Just a gut reaction, trying not to think it out while I let my fingers do a tap dance to Like A Fox On The Run. Mousey1 said she was going to fondle your voice. I said I was going to let your voice fondle me. So I start to wonder about the thought of me putting my fat old body on a itsy bitsy motorcycle and try to climb Cabbage in a winter storm just to catch one of your gigs. Don't think I got no agenda Hester, just a death wish maybe?
Writting to you as a fan, I really would like to hear you live, yes your voice does more than attracts me. It kind of props me up. But I am very happy just to hear you sing to my little silicon pal here. So I don't get around much anymore, but if the accident will you betcha I will be out there in the audience howling at the moon, sipping shenandoah moon shine.
uh
what was the question?
Posted: January 10th, 2006, 3:46 pm
by mousey1
Wierd scenario. Hard to know what the guy was actually thinking. From your perspective it sounds like he had an ulterior motive for cosying up to you. Hard to fathom why it would be worth it to him to travel all that way though. I can see doing it to follow through on a heart impulse but just for a slim chance to croon on stage... I dunno. Maybe he saw it as a chance to hitch himself to your star. Whatever the case all you can do is rely on gut instinct. It appears that you were not too keen on him in the first place, so nothing is lost and you never know something might have been gained from the experience.
I gotta wonder how you connected with this joker in the first place. One must be careful, as I am sure you well know. We can often be moved to do idiotic things but the head should, if at all possible, always rule. Though I know that is not always possible.
And tinkerjack

make time with Hester on your own dime will ya.

I jest.
I think it would be time well spent cruising over to see Hesty sing. It appears that she is a beautiful and talented lady. It's no wonder the poor shmoe mentioned above went to such lengths. Truth be told he was probably so intimidated by her many fine qualities that he slunk away a defeated and beaten man. Knowing full well he could not possibly tame and call his own, a woman such as she.

Posted: January 10th, 2006, 9:58 pm
by hester_prynne
Hey Still.... How are you buddy? Great to see you! I been so busy with the new job, I haven't had much time to be online. Be great to have you at a gig oh mine someday......
Maybe we all ought to make plans to go to the Cabaradio this year...meet the whole gang! Sing, dance, have fun in person!
Mousey dear, you are too kind...out of your mind! I'm no prize, just a gal who sings and thinks about things too much I suppose. I dunno. That guy was a real drag, another drag of the male kind.... I met him at the cafe during rehearsals for the New Years Eve gig, it was all very innocent, and the cafe is a really nice place....he was in there eating. ......and suddenly....he wouldn't leave me alone.....very weird. I'm fairly certain his agenda was to sing, he fancied himself as a singer along with all of the other many talents he continued to tell me about that he has.....like I said, he had a very large ego......
Though I am not easily enamored anymore in my older age, (52) I still have hopes that some sort of jolly spirited companion with a sense of humor and a life of his own will come my way. So when this happened it just seemed so far off, I feared maybe there was some deep rooted message for me to get.....you know, like having to give up another dream/fantasy due to the cold face of reality glaring at me again....heh.
I'm such an old fool......
H

Posted: January 11th, 2006, 9:55 pm
by Marksman45
When I'm attracted to someone, my only "agenda" is to share some fun with them. No strings attached. At least from my end (I believe in a relationship in which both members have the freedom to cancel the relationship with no hard feelings either way).
Posted: January 12th, 2006, 4:29 am
by hester_prynne
I agree Marksman, just have some fun...don't lay it all on, stay strangers for awhile or something, heh....lighten up. It ruins it if there are large amounts of need and expectations going on..
Squish Squash!
Drift in, drift out on pleasant terms.
Amen
H

Posted: January 20th, 2006, 6:56 am
by mnaz
Yes.
Posted: February 4th, 2006, 11:04 am
by stilltrucking
It appears that she is a beautiful and talented lady
Speak for yourself sister. You have a head full of rocks. And diamonds are a girl's best friend.
An agenda sans flesh.
I hit on Hester all the time
She calls them careless farts
She knows I am a harmless old man
For me the greatest fleshy magnet a woman can have
is the one in her skull
you got it in spades.
you make me smile
I can't tell you how much that means to me.

Posted: March 29th, 2006, 4:37 am
by e_dog
There are no relationships without (hidden) agendas.
The only form of attraction without agendas is the attraction between a magnet and metal; flesh is animated by lust and avarice.
The illusion of carefree interactions is deception of others and/or oneself.
This is the sacred doctrine of the infinite profanity of the finitude of (wo)man. Learn it well; ignore it at your peril.
You have all been warned -- but who will listen?
Posted: March 30th, 2006, 2:40 am
by stilltrucking
flesh is animated by lust and avarice
That it is a simplism.
sim·plism (smplzm)
n.
The tendency to oversimplify an issue or a problem by ignoring complexities or complications
The flesh is animated ok, but by what is a mystery. As mysterious as life itself.
All human behaviour is over determined.
Freud
KALB: How does Freud hold up?
KANDEL: I think he's a giant. Tremendously thoughtful, insightful and imaginative. There are things that he said that don't hold up. His view of female sexuality was wrong. But he gave us a nuanced and rich picture of the complexities of mental life. He's one of the great thinkers of the 20th century.
What are his greatest contributions?
Much of what we do is unconscious. That is a revelation that largely comes from Freud. The fact that dreams have psychological meaning, that infants are active, thinking individuals who have sensual as well as painful experiences also comes from Freud. The fact that by listening carefully to a patient, you can get a lot of insight into what the unconscious is talking about. This is revolutionary stuff.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11904316/site/newsweek/
Posted: March 30th, 2006, 5:25 pm
by e_dog
aphorism-phobia,
aka aphorism-denial
n.
the tendency to engage in the specious argument to the effect that a statement is disqualified or invalid if it is hyperbolic, general, or seeks to clarify a phenomenon by showing its essence in stark relief. Esp. a symptom of excessive rationalism.