(orderly but out of order)
Today is 10 May... again
Today is Sunday... again
Today is Mother's Day... again
Today the temperature is hot... again
Today I'll probably have a nap... again
Today I had two cups of coffee... again
Today I'll do some more chores... again
Today I'm sitting at this keyboard... again
Today I took my pills and vitamins... again
Today the Sun came up in the East... again
Today I fixed corn cakes and turkey bacon... again
<<<<<<<<<------- >>>>>>>>></center>
It's pretty pathetic when you see how much again goes on in your life, isn't it? Come on now, tell the truth. Again is repetition, something some folks actually look forward to in their lives ... something they can count on, to believe in, to get up in the morning.. again and again and again until one day they wake up and they just know again is not welcome. Repetition is what makes those ruts in our lives that fill with rainwater and get so muddy that we get stuck in those emotionally charged times when the sun is covered by the dark clouds of gloom and our vitamin D supplies are barely perceptible. Again we have reached a barrier of our own making and this time it seems like it's 42 feet tall and so fucking wide that it'd take a normal human being almost 39 days to go around it... but what the hell? it's better than again, this time... maybe next time it'll be new.. it'll be wonderful and exciting... again will not be in the current vocabulary, that next time.
So to circumvent again we must get beyond this current now which is not actually now at all but that again that repeats itself like one of those 1962 vinyl recordings of the Ventures, repeating a riff over and over again until you cannot ever forget it even if you move to the Wailing Wall and put one thousand nine hundred and seventy-three prayers to any slot between the ancient blocks to summon the good will of any god that will listen if only that one Venture's riff would leave your mind and you can finally return to some semblance of anything but again and again and again... you dream of places that intoxicate your imagination and people with smiles that radiate peace and beauty.. if only this weren't a dream you ask yourself in between sighs that refresh those images coming out of the innermost depths of your true being... the lure of now with again nailed to the cross with the letters 'a' and 'a' and 'n' bleeding from their centers... those three tiny droplets pooling into a pewter bowl lined in mirrored mosaics that reflect seven peregrine falcons circling all hopes and desires where shadows never reveal themselves until darkness sweeps over the mountains of your mind and the 14 candles of different colors are lit by the one question that you always return to again and again and again... and then you know.. a sudden realization like a lightning strike from above that caught you off guard and naked in the lotus position around those 14 colored candles that offered shadows that danced to music from pygmies singing in the darkest depths of africa's jungles... that again will always consume bits and pieces of the fabric of your very being like hungry moths in the night... again is a repeat of yesterday's hopes hung out on the line to dry in the noonday sun anxiously awaiting monday so again might not reveal itself.. just maybe now will intrude and bring joy and relief from the oppressive again that strikes without warning...
<center>[note: i will not write this again]</center>
cecil (again)
10 May 09
Picture of the Week (again): <center>presenting...
photo: cecil</center>
I also love them, and they seem to be more confortable in my dep than other plants! (A photo later!) 
After some months of skinny appearence I thought it was in the risk to die, but no!