pc I have a bit more workbut please tell me what you think!

[jimboloco]

I reread the first chapter and saw a depth to it that I had not seen before.
Get back, JoJo.
I read your writing about the courthouse in Calgary.LitKicks.
Wanna post that one? Maybe I can find it and I will post it. I think it's one you entered in Da Quezt, man!
I am thinking about starting a seperate thread here in "rejects" and reference to your story. Thay way we won't have to scroll down with every comment.
I can see a compelling reason to read on, now.
I guess I'd better re-read my initial reaction to it, for self-reflection, duh, what was I thinking, man?
Are you stoned, I am.
Get back, JoJo.
You ain't no throwaway child.

An by the way, don't block being expressive. Let it flow and devil be damned if yer spelling aint' perfect and you make typing mistakes an your behavior ain't alwayz rational. I don't care, but it does upset me when I think that you might be hurting, that's all.

Now I wonder what happenz in yer story.......

Chapter one deals with the bar owner and how he takes his anger out on a bum, displacement, kick the dawg, cause he forms a relationship in his head about the bums around his bar and why his son's wedding reception was somewheres ellse.
It's like empty nest syndrome. Prodigal son left home and made it else where.

Chapter two....

[Axanderdeath]

Knip there may be some mistakes in this "long" peice but not that many and you should be able to read it fine.

au contraire, my montreal-dwelling friend (the french was in recognition of this - you're still there, right?)


there are lots and lots of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors...i know this doesn't bother you...that has been explored endlessly...it doesn't really bother me, either, unlike some other folks (who have all the right to be bothered by it in literature)

here is the problem with it - for every error of grammar, spelling, or punctuation, i have to stop and think whether or not the error is intentional...double-meaning through errors is a small trick of writing used occasionally...so if i want to understand fully what you're trying to say, i have to stop and think about each error and decide if there is double-meaning...it makes reading such a piece kind of tedious, especially when, at the end, one determines they were just lazy errors, and little else

The thing is I am trying to edit this story right know and it sucks. Instead of captain through the whole story I write "Caption," Lots of places I don't use comma's (But I don't mind that as much as most people.) The thing that annoyes me the most arew when I wright right for right instead of right-or likes for like, or have no Idea if it should be a had or have, but most of this stuff I think some one can figure out, when I am done editing I will post it again maybe. If there are any parts you can read at all, if you can't make sense of it, please show me what I am doing wrong-I won't get angry-really I have decided That I have to fix this shit-in stories- It is only in discusions I don't care about that shit. Using aloud for allowed is okay in a discusion, but if it is in the story that is emmbarrassing and I want to change it. Or no fucking person on earth will be able to read it. I like some of the sentances that people always tell me "This really through me off" Like if I wrote right here-sits in oil-I think that shit is funny as hell, but maybe not marketable---

what ever, I have to go to work soon.

[jimboloco]

I think it's funny, man, puns with spelling and soundz.
Don't forget, Knipster, I is here too. Rubber Duck, stay well.

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"This really through me off" Like if I wrote right here-sits in oil-I think that shit is funny as hell, but maybe not marketable---