The Essential Poetry List

[Southbound Snackyderm]

I know many of you frequently wonder: 'What makes a good poem/poetry?' Print this list, carry it with you at all times--and you'll never have to worry again!

Note: This is the only poetry list officially endorsed by both presidential candidates!


1. Good poetry stands out like an eyeball in a bag of jellies

2. Good poetry always carries a needle and camel in its pocket, just in case

3. Good poetry makes you forget, if only for a second, that your fridge isn't connected to the internet

4. Good poetry never needs to take its socks off to count to 15

5. Good poetry keeps Rubik's cube alive

6. Good poetry never sounds like a bagpipe, ever.

7. It's ok now, George W, Captain Poetry is here!

8. Good poetry is rhizomic, tantric, the mattress, the flower, the watcher at the till

9. Good poetry is the way light smells in her hair

10. Good poetry is the self-cleaning oven of the heart

11. Good poetry is possible when you learn to edit poems in Photoshop

12. Good poetry makes a phonebooth an object of desire

13. Good poetry is two elevators passing each other in the night

14.

15. Good poetry is generally bicubic

16. Good poetry is never better than trail mix

17. You can't make good poetry by smashing pumpkins

18. Good poetry is 13 ways of looking at a blackboard

19. Give a man a good poem, feed him for an hour; teach him to write good poetry, starve him to death

20. Always wear clean poetry, in case you have an accident and are taken to hospital--you wouldn't want the doctors to see your dirty poetry, would you?

[Zlatko Waterman]

Because of your "to hospital", idomatic usage for English English but not for us Yanks, I assume you dwell outside the demesne of Bush II. (?) But really, is there such a place? I hope so.

This is a smiling ( and winking) manifesto of yours, adding up nicely to a rough account of Archie MacLeish's:


" . . .A poem should not mean
But be."

http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/188.html




--Z

[Lightning Rod]

Welcome to the zoo, Peter

Let's see if we can give 'em a show.

(I thought I had already violated every rule of good poetry. Oh well, back to the drawing board.)


Z-ko,

Abracadabara Abracadab
Abracada Abracad
Abraca Abrac Abra Ab
Abracadabra Abracadab

--A.M.

[Southbound Snackyderm]

Happy to be here LRod!

You would be correct, Z--I hail from Canada, which I think George W. considers to be extra parking.

Oddly, AM's 'mean but be' bit is about all I remember from poetry studied under ruler and rule--even then it rang a note thru all that 'Tyger tyger' and 'Into the valley of death...' stuff.

[mousey1]

People tend to take themselves far too seriously. Take "poets",(I'm generalizing here of course) I fear their sense of what's comic, humorous, sometimes flows treacherously thin. Beneath lie deep hurts that cannot swim and constantly drown only to begin again. I think of them laughing on the outside, crying within, offended by the humor, it perceives their sin.

Hi, my name is mousey1, and I write bad poetry. I am here for the 12, er, 19 step program. And yes I will be requiring a sponsor.

I absolutely loved this Snackyderm! A lighthearted look at the art of poetics and yet you make some very fine points as to what poetry should and should not be. I am very partial to steps 1, 2, 6, 10, 12, and 19. Good stuff!

[Southbound Snackyderm]

Well hello there, mousey1--and welcome to the program! I should mention, most of our steps here are backwards, walking on our heads...

You're right of course--taking oneself too seriously as an artist (or whatever) spells instant doom--not to mention a horribly abused audience. If the artist wants pain--get a root canal or take up politics.

It's all about play!

Thanks for reading!

[stilltrucking]

20. Always wear clean poetry, in case you have an accident and are taken to hospital--you wouldn't want the doctors to see your dirty poetry, would you?

Sound advice.

14.

I think number 14 says it all for me.