Letters to the Resident Advice Columnist - Dear Biotch
Posted: December 17th, 2004, 11:17 pm
Dear Blabby,
I'm experiencing a crisis.
I'm trying to let my bangs grow out. You know, what some call "fringe"... those hairs which grow on my forehead down to my eyebrows. They have grown to an unmanagable length to the top of my cheekbones. I look like an unkempt vagabond, a waif. I stay holed up in my hovel for fear of the public viewing my untidy locks. My nerves are frayed from the constant maneuvering of tresses in an attempt to get them out of my eyes.
I'm at an impasse. Should I cut them for sanity's sake? Or bear through the unbearable for the sake of potential beauty and definitive change? Change, after all, may be worthy of my persistence. Beauty, after all, may be fleeting but could possibly be entertaining, as well. But sanity has its appeal, also
On top of all that, it's the holidays. I want to look my best for my family and friends. The red dress I bought last year looks fantastic with an angular-coiffed do while the little black number with the spaghetti straps would be more appealing with loose flowing tresses.
To make matters worse, my cousin won't look me square in the eyes unless she can see them and she's constantly reaching over to push the hair out of my eyes which is annoying as hell and they're going to seat her next to me for Christmas dinner. She drives me absolutely insane with the incessant tweaking!
But my man adores me when my hair is tossled and has promised to buy me red bandannas which I can make into halter tops when summer comes. And when I wear clips to hold the bangs up, he likes to pull them out for me. Mmmmm... I love that so much! On the other hand, my employer has informed me that if I show up on the job one more time with my hair in disarray, he will have to hire someone with a more appropriate public image.
Whatever shall I do? I need advice, badly! Should I forget the bandannas? Should I leave the dresses hanging in my closet and wear jeans? Should I ask the hostess at Christmas dinner to change the seating chart? Should I resign from my job and find a more tolerant employer?
Signed,
Pulling Hairs
I'm experiencing a crisis.
I'm trying to let my bangs grow out. You know, what some call "fringe"... those hairs which grow on my forehead down to my eyebrows. They have grown to an unmanagable length to the top of my cheekbones. I look like an unkempt vagabond, a waif. I stay holed up in my hovel for fear of the public viewing my untidy locks. My nerves are frayed from the constant maneuvering of tresses in an attempt to get them out of my eyes.
I'm at an impasse. Should I cut them for sanity's sake? Or bear through the unbearable for the sake of potential beauty and definitive change? Change, after all, may be worthy of my persistence. Beauty, after all, may be fleeting but could possibly be entertaining, as well. But sanity has its appeal, also
On top of all that, it's the holidays. I want to look my best for my family and friends. The red dress I bought last year looks fantastic with an angular-coiffed do while the little black number with the spaghetti straps would be more appealing with loose flowing tresses.
To make matters worse, my cousin won't look me square in the eyes unless she can see them and she's constantly reaching over to push the hair out of my eyes which is annoying as hell and they're going to seat her next to me for Christmas dinner. She drives me absolutely insane with the incessant tweaking!
But my man adores me when my hair is tossled and has promised to buy me red bandannas which I can make into halter tops when summer comes. And when I wear clips to hold the bangs up, he likes to pull them out for me. Mmmmm... I love that so much! On the other hand, my employer has informed me that if I show up on the job one more time with my hair in disarray, he will have to hire someone with a more appropriate public image.
Whatever shall I do? I need advice, badly! Should I forget the bandannas? Should I leave the dresses hanging in my closet and wear jeans? Should I ask the hostess at Christmas dinner to change the seating chart? Should I resign from my job and find a more tolerant employer?
Signed,
Pulling Hairs