Haiku one thousand and one

Post by **stilltrucking** » February 18th, 2007, 1:32 pm

I suppose that is why I am so curious about senryu, it is about human nature I think.

Post by **jimboloco** » February 18th, 2007, 2:31 pm

random thoughts
monkey mind
hai!

Post by **sooZen** » February 18th, 2007, 8:35 pm

Artguy wrote:As Kerouac explains the way to write Haiku here in the west is very different than in Japan, because of the structural difference in language. He proposes that it is unreasonable to hold western poets to the 17 syllable structure because the Japanese language is nonsyllabic and non linear. The important parts of Haiku for us to observe is the spirit of the thing not the structure......

Kurt...I am in the process of reading Trip Trap again...you can never read it too much. I think Jack (whose haiku has been widely criticized) had it right for the Western version and besides Reps, was the man. Of course this is only my opinion, such as it is...

Jack...senryu..."a Japanese poem structurally similar to the haiku but primarily concerned with human nature. It is usually humorous or satiric. Used loosely, the term means a poem similar to the haiku that does not meet the criteria for haiku."

That is the definition which I can argue with, of course. In essence, you (Jack) interject yourself into the haiku creating a senryu...it is hai with a human ego. Here is some senryu I did in Feb, 2005:

no cigarettes
the birds are singing
I am NOT

empty ashtrays
not a butt in sight
just a smoke dream

you yell
then I yell
(we quit smoking)

another day
this longing is long
each moment eternity

i tend to misspell it ("seneru") too as i am phonetically challenged.

jimbo...

monkey see
monkey do
ku on ku

Post by **stilltrucking** » February 21st, 2007, 3:55 pm

monkey Mind

time changes the rules
what applied then, doesn't now
haiku evolving

050802 sooZen litkicks

trying all sorts of tricks like messing with the fonts
I even tried writing one with hyper text
all evolving
but you know I got to know the rules before I break them, when one comes out that is just a simple little 5-7-5 it pleases me.
when it don't come out 5-7-5I got to keep the faith.

Post by **stilltrucking** » February 22nd, 2007, 10:19 am

Speaking of breaking rules
this one is a puzzlement
Is it a senryu
is it a haiku
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=9334

Post by **sooZen** » February 25th, 2007, 4:48 pm

on one level...it doesn't really matter what the name is...or how you label it. (as you may have surmised, i argue with the 'experts' all the time.)

whether labeled haiku or senyru, it must have an air of wonder, mystery and then enlightenment of understanding...an aHAH!

simplicity and a paucity of words are the best, i think...the ability to say IT with a conciseness is pure and beautiful.

now to answer your question...i will say again that as soon as the haijin interjects herself into the haiku it becomes senyru.

Post by **Artguy** » February 25th, 2007, 5:36 pm

Some say to label your breath...some say not....

Post by **stilltrucking** » February 25th, 2007, 5:49 pm

Nonconceptual (rnam par mi rtog pa). Of or pertaining to the absence of conceptual thinking or discursive thought.

It seemed so abstract to me. The problem with Google is that it makes it so easy to be a poser.

I wrote a ku once about phylogeny which I thought was too intellectual but it came to me with out any thought. Just the warmth of the sun on my face.

pilgrim on the road
serpent on a rock
the sun on my face

I don't know how to say it in Buddhist terms, but I think all the stages in the evolution of life are encapsulated in our brains. Down deep is the reptile brain.

That makes no sense I am sure. Just the ramblings of an old fool.

Post by **sooZen** » February 26th, 2007, 8:50 am

kurt...what say you?

jack...complexity of thought...does it have a place in haiku?

"pilgrim on the road
serpent on a rock
the sun on my face"

i am going to play haijin forensics with your haiku (or maybe i am just a simple butcher?) anyway, hope you don't mind:

on the road: remove the pilgrim, not needed
serpent on a rock: no changes, it is what it is
sun on my face: do you need the the?

on the road, we are all just pilgrims, are we not?

because this haiku just flowed for you, it is perfect as it is and my changes (or suggestions) are irrelevant, really...

hone the knife
cut the butter
no effort!

Post by **Artguy** » February 28th, 2007, 6:55 pm

"A real haiku's gotta be as simple as porridge and yet make you see the real thing, like the greatest haiku of them all probably is the one that goes 'The sparrow hops along the veranda, with wet feet.' By Shiki. You see the wet footprints like a vision in your mind and yet in those few words you also see all the rain that's been falling that day and almost smell the wet pine needles."

Jack Kerouac

Post by **sooZen** » March 3rd, 2007, 6:18 am

"simple as porridge" and just as filling. Yep!

Post by **stilltrucking** » March 3rd, 2007, 11:19 pm

it beats me but
it satifies my thrirst
ku ka kola

sometimes
or at least for me
a ku can go off in my head like an atomic flash

I don't know why this one flashed so bright in my skull

From the litkick Haiku Archives

shadows

Back to Board • Board Archive

by abbehill on June 27, 2002 11:00:00
lacy patterned leaves
rhythmic dance on the pavement
brought on by sunlight

Post by **sooZen** » March 4th, 2007, 6:55 am

"ku ka kola"

Yes...and that beauty you quote was by another well known 'kicker' known by another handle whose name i shan't indulge...but i love her and her ku.

haiku so simple
haiku so complex
mind no mind

so jack...are you giving up your haiku abstinence? Hope so...
The only way to write good haiku or bad haiku is to write haiku and just like meditation, one must do it to do it.

Post by **stilltrucking** » March 5th, 2007, 1:28 am

I have given up on everything, except cigarettes and this compulsive scrbbling.

it ain't eash being one dimensional sooZe
but I got no complaint
women always been kind to me
even Madame Defarge
and the witch of Buchenwald

Freud's breakfast
two over easy

Post by **sooZen** » March 5th, 2007, 7:42 am

second thoughts
edit button leftovers
eat my words!

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

Haiku one thousand and one

Who is online