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judie's haiku after no more tear

Posted: June 23rd, 2005, 5:23 pm
by judih
judie is a friend of mine. A colleague of ours met his death in a motorcycle crash tonight. He was a member of her kibbutz. I taught 2 of his kids. Here is her haiku


fatal futile
fucked forever
funeral sun





judie s
june 24 just after midnight

technical notes

Posted: June 24th, 2005, 9:18 am
by joel
I'm sorry for the inspiration.

The alliteration here and the rhythm both seem to highlight the sun at the end of the piece. There seems to be a relatively driving trochaic beat and then it flips up with an iamb at the end. I don't know if it's an intentional "lifting up" of the sun--and whatever symbolism that might bring--but it caught my eye with a range of possibilities.


reposession
rest relieving
reticent light

Posted: June 24th, 2005, 11:12 am
by Doreen Peri
we don't have an emoticon with tears.

I wish we did.

:(

Posted: June 24th, 2005, 11:17 am
by judih
joel, what a cool observation.
thank you.

doreen - emoticon's aside
we share the moment

thanks

j

Posted: June 24th, 2005, 8:19 pm
by whimsicaldeb
time heals
sorrow's song
beyond words

hugs help too
(glad you are there for her)

Posted: June 26th, 2005, 5:07 pm
by jimboloco
cousin madeliene
her beaux benoit
sweet swiss chalet

benoit's twin
and twin's wife
double suicide

mado and benoit
twin and wife's kids
deconstructed and reconstructed

five years passed
not a word
now cousin is back

metamorphosis
deconstruct and reconstruct
the power of now

Posted: June 26th, 2005, 7:08 pm
by mtmynd
Judih... sorry for the delay. I hope your friend is doing better. That was some kinda haiku! whew!

Posted: June 26th, 2005, 11:30 pm
by judih
thanks all
beautiful response, deb
jim - this is a story and a half you've offered
cecil - haiku heals (to take a word from deb). judie is now fresh out of tears and back to her laughing self. (with the help of a lot of Led Zep and good friends)

we shall arise from the dead!

Posted: June 28th, 2005, 9:35 am
by jimboloco
we shall arise from the dead!
I wish we did.
fucked forever

Posted: June 28th, 2005, 12:06 pm
by judih
squeeze the last drops of life
drink before dying
pass on

Posted: June 28th, 2005, 3:20 pm
by jimboloco
Not haiku just yet, having seen birth (one) and of course the younguns, delightful, and have seen many impending deaths and several in persona, moments of death are, unfortunately, often not very celebratory. Hospice has gone a long ways in helping change that, and for sure I'd like a celebratory mood around my own demise, JA!, but it's all to often a gasping, or a suddern interruption, with mixed feelings, from relief to despair.

old man looks up and out
his family around him
he passes on

christmas eve
hue fron tree lights
glow into darkened room

old man takes his last sip of soup
"that's enough," he says
becoming radiant in the soft darkness

"I'll never have sex again," she said,
helped her into bed,
"I have a prolapsed uterus."

Doctor went in to see her
He told me to pull the plug
She died that night, HIV+ mother.

He lay there,
gasping.
Margie held him.

Margie did the same
I held her hand
she smiled at me.

Posted: June 28th, 2005, 3:41 pm
by judih
motorcycle round the bend
hands salute the wind
black leather final gasp

community circle
telephone linked minds
strength shuddered gasps

Posted: June 28th, 2005, 5:41 pm
by joel
sacred whale songs, midnight howls
beyond hours of hearing
Homo sapiens sapiens
wordless telephone mourning

Posted: June 28th, 2005, 10:32 pm
by judih
beach echo
stillness mourns
grey dawn caress

Posted: June 29th, 2005, 12:51 pm
by jimboloco
flickering flames
candlelight meditations
murmuring mantras