feverishly I ran to the nearest echo engaging myself...

Critiques, prompts & challenges.
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mtmynd
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feverishly I ran to the nearest echo engaging myself...

Post by mtmynd » February 21st, 2008, 2:30 pm

feverishly I ran to the nearest echo engaging myself in riddles

never has just arrived
midnight fog saturating
the loss of direction
suspending further movement
leaning into quadrascapes
of the four dimensions traveled
completely thru squinting eyes
calloused by sandpaper fright
of breathless intoxication -

i have succumbed to sublime
and reached past the gold
into the dripping fluids
avenging the dinosaur’s bones
broken from lot’s tools
thrown haphazardly thru plate glass
shattering reflections of minutiae
into prismatic panti-goats roaming
side-street carnivals lit by bics

no more to be seen i shrivel -
grapes laid to drink vintage tears,
noiselessly crumpled rice paper
absorbing the irrationalities
soaked thru like arthur’s blood
excalibration - inebriation
falsetto inducements clowning
joy buttons stuck thru abuse
and the languishing word stutters
momentum reduced to alpha bets taken
by fevered palms stroked by excrement
stolen from slaughterhouses screaming
in harmony with hunger pains squealing

[felicity - the drought dispels disillusionment]


cecil

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » February 21st, 2008, 4:54 pm

felicity at the speed of light
so long coming

delusions of happiness
illusions of sweet contentment
at this very point in time
in this space
I have it all
just a goodbye
a damn good cosmic joke
on me

nice going M-T

it truly is a gift to be simple

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » February 22nd, 2008, 10:20 am

just quacker propaganda
have I ever told you that I used to be a member of The Religious Society of Ducks? Might still be. THey have not heard from me for over twenty years.

http://outofthejungle.blogspot.com/2006 ... to-be.html

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » February 22nd, 2008, 10:51 am

The purpose of this forum is twofold

One - Interpret the poem. Write what it means to YOU.

Two - Analyze the poem critically - critique.

If we don't use the forum for what it's intended, then maybe we should archive it and lose it because we have so many other forums.

Just an idea.

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » February 22nd, 2008, 12:03 pm

Sorry Doreen were you speaking to me, I don't understand.
That is what it meant to me. I am not much of a critic. I should not even reply to a any poem
Just delete it okay?

sorry cecil I guess I pushed the wrong button

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » February 22nd, 2008, 12:30 pm

I'm sorry. I didn't understand that you were interpreting the poem. I thought you were just chatting with cecil with a poetic reply.

No, of course I'm not going to delete it!

My bad. Forgive me?

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » February 22nd, 2008, 12:37 pm

there was a lot in that poem
the joy button stuck through abuse
the excretment on the hands

and the title alone is worth a couple hundred lines.

I just tried to be succint

Everything a GO

I probably should not have put a link to that Quaker song. I was chatting you are right, I thought Cecil might have thought I was being sarcastic when I said it is a gift to be simple. I probably should have left it there.

For me simple is kind of like being empty minded.



A lot of meat on them dinosaur bones.


I will try to do more interpretation but I do not feel as if I got to chops to critique poetry.

mtmynd
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Post by mtmynd » February 22nd, 2008, 7:32 pm

blah, blah, blah... and in the meantime
the saturday matinee continues to show itself
dreams and nightmares of the tenth degree
suffocating the succotash of verbalism's vandals.

who ever thought without thinking first..?
that goddamn 'first' that began every thing.

what if there never was a first? what then?
would that make room for a second? a minute?
an hour of our ego draped in velvetine aldolphs
mimicking rabbits and the games they might play.

"goodness me!" i heard that. really.
but it's all for naught. zero is the beginning.
and all the fucking zeros that follow - now that
that... that... that all adds up for a change
that has no coin of glitter or gutter taking space.

more better said: "feverishly I ran to the nearest echo engaging myself in riddles"


:lol: :lol: :lol:

thanks for ever thing!

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