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Blow
Posted: May 23rd, 2005, 9:35 pm
by mtmynd
Blow
there's a candle that burns
beyond my thoughts
where dreams are lit
from distant fires
set forth into flame
consumed
-inch by inch
-breath by breath
the wax of being dripping
-slowly
-warmly
-softly
...ideals never realized
but kept alive thru the light
Posted: June 9th, 2005, 11:39 am
by mousey1
I like this Cec.
You've expressed, captured beautifully, similar feelings in me.
there's a candle that burns
outside my thoughts
I do wonder where exactly that would be? Outside your thoughts I mean.
I do think it should be, beyond my thoughts, or something similar to that.
What's the purpose of the hyphens?
I like where dreams are lit from distant fires.....couldn't that work?
Anyway a lovely write....just lovely. Thanks for sharing it. I really do feel hope in this. This poem has a soft, warm, wistful flavor. A calming effect.
Posted: June 9th, 2005, 12:09 pm
by mtmynd
mousey... i like your ideas. i shall implement them and 'see' how it reads... how flows... how it moves... (you can take a look, too!)
thx for the suggestions!
btw - the hyphens... they suggest a pause much like... dots, but only a wee bit quicker. hah! don't they look good..?