Curse of Friday in Vestibules of Juggernauts

Critiques, prompts & challenges.
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mtmynd
Posts: 7752
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Curse of Friday in Vestibules of Juggernauts

Post by mtmynd » February 2nd, 2007, 6:46 pm

curse of friday in vestibules of juggernauts


witch palpitations
surveying anatomical
differences
between genders apparent
signifying the indelible
ink running like hose
water spurting voraciously
across spooned tongues
lapping furiously
while the bed
smothers another
nightmare galloping
upon four stiletto
heels bent for pain

Yejun
Posts: 229
Joined: December 22nd, 2007, 4:17 pm

Post by Yejun » December 22nd, 2007, 7:01 pm

I don't think I have the time to go into this right now, but I'll try to break it up at least in terms of the propositions:
curse of friday in vestibules of juggernauts
or Friday's curses in juggernauts' vestibules
witch palpitations --
or How do you turn a wiccan on?
surveying anatomical
differences
between genders apparent --
Inversion? Why? Sex is apparent, gender is a linguistic product and therefore social.
signifying the indelible
ink running like hose
water spurting voraciously --
Hey, this one's going to be fun!
across spooned tongues
lapping furiously --
And the fun continues, but I think I'll stay away from the pornographic/humiliation spectacle here.
while the bed
smothers another
nightmare galloping
upon four stiletto
heels bent for pain
Well, I might at least mention it, but I still think it'll be more fun to take off in a new direction here.

I'll try to get more 'serious' later.

mtmynd
Posts: 7752
Joined: August 15th, 2004, 8:54 pm
Location: El Paso

Post by mtmynd » December 29th, 2007, 9:02 pm

Hello, Yejun! I'd like to thank you for the time spent in your analysis and interpretations of these poems of mine. I'm rather amazed, to tell you the truth... I spent far less time writing them than your words certainly must have taken to put together! :lol:

Each of these pieces that I've posted on this board are what I shall call "stream of consciousness" as they flowed right outta my head. no forethought or after thought. The reader gets what is (including myself).

When Doreen started this particular board, I thought that these would be a good place to post them... these free-flow pieces. Perhaps someone would translate them. Someone did early on up until now. Great work, Yejun, and greatly appreciated, altho I shan't comment on your own comments as there is too much for me to respond to at this time.

Thx again and I shall continue reviewing what you have so graciously written and attempt to put the words together.

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » January 4th, 2008, 6:07 am

My bad.

This forum really was originally created for "interpretation" meaning asking the reader to tell the poet/author what the piece meant to them.

Later, someone was asking for a critique forum and I thought the ideas fit well together. It was Totenkopf who asked but when I changed it to include critique the forum never got used anyway.

Recently I was on another site where yejun hangs out and we were talking about critique and I mentioned this forum here that doesn't get much use so he came over here and added some critiques.

Maybe we should indicate whether we want an interpretation or a critique from now on.

I donno.

I've been so busy critiquing myself, I can't figure anything out right now.

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