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july 6, 2007

Posted: July 6th, 2007, 2:33 am
by judih
as i typed that date a few minutes ago, i recalled that i got married on that day back in '73.

Funny how that happened. i did it to 'please' my family. Little did i know that my family wasn't so stupid as to be pleased over something that i didn't really want.
but i was 19. Year of intentional dumbness. Knowing so much, yet hoping fate would strike out the bad parts. Hearing my heart crying, what the fuck are you doing, girl? Yet, doing it anyway. It was a classic case of surrendering to a misinterpretation of life.

So, though begging the best man to take me away, fast, from the scene before the scene occurred, and in spite of looking longingly at crosstown traffic as we went to a big downtown hotel to get a drink, hoping to get kidnapped by someone i knew, in spite of all that, i went ahead. The Justice of the Peace said the words and i mumbled agreement and there it happened.

It was a hot July afternoon. My gown, easy to wear, sewn to perfection by those haute couture ladies working for my soon to be father-in-law, allowed freedom to walk, run. Yes, i could have run.
The shoes, a bare nod towards the uber heels so fashionable back then, even the shoes could have taken me far away in a split second, but no. I went ahead.

i got married. Back then July 6th.
Even now, the sound of the date kinda makes my stomach turn.

marriage - how to kill hopes and dreams.
divorce! Now there's a more pleasant notion. Wonder what the date was?